11 Books I Wish Every Parent at My Church Would Read

bigstock-Stack-Of-Books-70033240-675x320A few Sundays ago, it was Youth Appreciation Sunday at my church and as the new youth minister I had the privilege and responsibility to preach for all five of our services. I preached out of Deuteronomy 6:4-8 and called our parents to embrace their youth as the primary shepherds of their children (click here if you’d like to hear the sermon). Instead of talking about our church’s youth ministry, I chose to talk about the youth ministries God desires our families to be. Instead of talking about myself as the youth pastor, I chose to talk about the parents as God’s primary youth pastors. I was humbled and thankful for the opportunity.

Although getting to preach at “big church” was very exciting for me, I found myself even more excited about what followed the sermon. After that Sunday my email inbox was filled with emails from parents talking about how God used the sermon to convict them and call them to greater intentionality in discipling their children to know and love Jesus. Their desire to follow God’s Word was the greatest encouragement I could ever have received.

In many of the emails, parents requested resources to help them disciple their children. After sending out numerous emails with resources, I thought it would be prudent to supply a list here of parenting resources I have found to be tremendously helpful. Without further words, here are the 11 best resources on parenting I have come across.

Spiritual Parenting by Dr. Michelle Anthony (224 Pages). I had the privilege of having Dr. Michelle Anthony when I did my undergrad at Biola. She was an excellent professor and, the more I dig into her books, I find her to be a vitally important voice for parents to hear. Spiritual Parenting is a great book that guides parents to create 10 environments within the home that will help to nurture their children’s faith and love for Jesus Christ. There is also an excellent DVD series for small groups or large groups to study together. See the video promo here.

Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp (215 Pages). The behavior and decisions of your child are only expressions of their heart. Therefore, parenting must not be focused on behavior or decisions alone, but must be directed at the hearts of our children. In this book, Tedd Tripp helps us learn how to do just that.

Big Truths for Little Hearts by Bruce Ware (240 Pages). Do you ever feel under-equipped to teach your kids about the countless truths of the Bible? Well, fear not, this should help. In this book, Dr. Bruce Ware, “encourages and enables parents of children 6-14 years of age to teach through the whole of systematic theology at a level their children can understand.” In this book he, “covers ten topics of systematic theology, devoting several brief chapters to each subject, making it possible for parents to read one chapter per day with their children. With this non-intimidating format, parents will be emboldened to be their children’s primary faith trainers-and perhaps learn a few things themselves along the way.”

A Neglected Grace by Jason Helopoulos (128 Pages). I believe all Christians see the value in family worship, but most feel unequipped or too intimidated to do it. In this book, parents will find immense encouragement toward cultivating consistent and faithful family worship without any guilt trips. They will be taught the value of family worship and equipped to do it well. Don’t miss this gem parents.

Family Worship by Donald Whitney (63 Pages). Donald Whitney is a master of writing with clarity, simplicity, and profundity. In this little booklet, Dr. Whitney unpacks the Biblical teaching of family worship, the historical practice of family worship, the practical tools for family worship, and common questions concerning family worship. It shouldn’t take more than 45 minutes to read the whole thing.

Gospel Powered Parenting by William Farley (240 Pages). Amazon’s description is a good summary of the book’s aim. “Parents who claim the gospel as their own have an enormous effect on their marriage, their integrity, and their love for their children. Keeping the gospel at the forefront of every aspect of marriage helps parents fear God, sensitizes them to sin, motivates them to enter their children’s world, and causes them to preach the beauty of the gospel to their children through their marriage.” For more information read this review and this review.

The Shepherd Leader at Home by Timothy Witmer (176 Pages). Timothy Witmer looks into the bible’s definition of a shepherd and outlines their main duties. According to Witmer, a shepherd is one who knows his sheep, leads his sheep, protects his sheep, and provides for his sheep. After explaining these biblical responsibilities, Witmer applies them to the relationships a man has with his wife and his children. Don’t miss out on this immensely practical.

Family Shepherds by Voddie Baucham Jr. (63 Pages). I love Voddie Baucham and I love this book. Directed at fathers specifically, Dr. Baucham lays down the responsibilities God calls husbands and fathers to and equips them for the task. Filled with immense biblical truths and wisdom to live them out, this book is a must read for the man of the house.

Age of Opportunity by Paul Tripp (296 Pages). The teenage years don’t have to be characterized by bloodshed and tears. In this book, “Paul Tripp uncovers the heart issues that affect parents and their teenage children during the often-chaotic adolescent years. With wit, wisdom, humility, and compassion, he shows parents how to seize the countless opportunities to deepen communication and learn and grow with their teens.”

Give Them Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson (216 Pages). A wonderful book that focuses on helping our children avoid being little Pharisees and becoming overflowing lovers of Jesus and celebrators of his grace. As the Amazon description says, “We must tell our kids of the grace-giving God who freely adopts rebels and transforms them into loving sons and daughters. If this is not the message your children hear, if you are just telling them to “be good,” then the gospel needs to transform your parenting too.”

Glimpses of Grace by Gloria Furman (192 Pages). A book for the wives and mothers. I thought this captured the essence of this book well. “Every homemaker, every mother, every woman, has experienced the disconnect between what she knows and what she feels, between knowing that what she is doing is good and the reality that it is exasperating and seems unfulfilling. In Glimpses of Grace, Gloria Furman brings the gospel to bear on a woman’s distinct calling. With precision and grace she shows that the good news of all that Jesus Christ accomplished, when properly understood and carefully applied, will transform the way a woman carries out the task the Lord has given her.”

This list is not complete; not by far. What have been some helpful resources for you? What would you add to this list?

For more resources on other topics in the Christian life, click here.

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The Saturday Post(s)

Saturday Post

For those who missed last Saturday Post(s), I am sorry! The Lord has had me active in lots of good things and unfortunately, that has made the blog a wee bit quiet. However, for your weekend reading, here is some of the best reading from my week.

Moms, You Do More Than You Know. This needs to be said over and over and over again. Mamas, take heart.

Five Suggestions for Christians Amidst the Sexual Revolution. DeYoung, as always, brings some timely and needed wisdom to meditate on and practice.

Christians, Trump is Not Your Friend. Oh no, things just got political. What do you think?

I Am An Old Fashioned Christian. Amen to this in every single possible way. “I get the books. I read the articles. I see the news. Christianity seems ready to move on. And I realize anew: I am an old-fashioned kind of Christian.”

5 Tips to Conquer Homework. I love Wunderlist App and it saves me for my work, school, and family life responsibilities. Students, Wisdom calls out to you in this piece.

How Do You End a Conversation? “Sometimes you just get stuck talking to someone who is a master practitioner of the conversation monologue.” What do you do when you need or want to end a conversation? How do you end a conversation. I’ll put some of these to work.

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What If I Don’t Feel Forgiven?

i_think_alone_by_gordorcaWe know the gospel is offered to those in need of forgiveness, but what do you do when you don’t feel forgiven even when you believe the gospel? What are Christians supposed to do when they no longer feel in their hearts the good news they confess with their lips?

Over at Ligonier, Ian Hamilton gives three great counsels for those who don’t feel forgiven for their sins. And they all start with “R.” Cool, right?

Root Out Sin. First, we must ask ourselves if we are harboring sin in our hearts. Sin natively dulls our hearts and minds to God’s grace in His Son. There may be a good and godly reason why we do not feel our Father’s forgiving love…

Remember the War. Second, we must remind ourselves that we are engaged in a relentless warfare with the world, the flesh, and the devil..The godly life is a natively embattled life, albeit an embattled life punctuated with “joy unspeakable and full of glory” (1 Peter 1:8).

His third counsel is worth recording in full.

Recall Our Standing. We must recall that our standing in Christ does not rest in anything in us (our feelings) or done by us (our works), but on the finished work of our Savior on the cross and His continuing work at God’s right hand as our Great High Priest. The Christian’s whole comfort lies outside of herself. Perhaps this has nowhere been more memorably expressed than in the first question and answer of the Heidelberg Catechism:

Q. What is your only comfort in life and in death?

A. That I am not my own, but belong body and soul, in life and in death to my faithful Savior, Jesus Christ. He has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood, and has set me free from the tyranny of the devil. He also watches over me in such a way that not a hair can fall from my head without the will of my Father in heaven; in fact, all things must work together for my salvation. Because I belong to him, Christ, by his Holy Spirit, assures me of eternal life and makes me wholeheartedly willing and ready from now on to live for him.

God’s truth and the grace of Christ are not qualified, far less nullified, by our feelings. However we might feel, however desperately wretched we might be, if we have believed in God’s Son and are resting the whole weight of who we are on Him alone, we are the most blessed and privileged of beings in the cosmos, whether we feel it to be so or not. We are loved in Christ with an everlasting love (Rom. 8:37–39). So, “Let him who walks in darkness and has no light trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God” (Isa. 50:10).

There will be times when the feelings within us don’t align with the truth, but praise be to God that the truth of the gospel is not nullified by our feelings or our works, but stands unchanged because of the once-for-all work of Jesus on the cross. May our hearts live in the warmth of His work.Read the whole post here.

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The Saturday Post(s)

Saturday PostProtect Your Children & My Children From Porn. An excellent call to all parents. “Your kids may see pornography someplace, but don’t let it be in your home or on the devices that you provide for them. And, when you send the message to your children that you care about what they put into their hearts and minds, you are also helping to protect my children.”

What Should We Do With the Adulterous Pastor? Kent Hughes and John Armstrong provided a strong answer at Christianity Today to the question, “What shall we do with an adulterous pastor?”

Do You Pray for President Obama? “Do you pray for our President and our leaders as much as you complain about them?”

Ten Theology Resources to Know About. Always love a good book list. Don’t think studying theology is important, then read this.

Pastor-Scholar? Is this really a helpful title to shoot for? Is it possible?

A NFL Football Player Talks About Jesus. Garrett Gilkey talks about the promise of God in the midst of threatening pain.

God Wrote a Book. Do you love it?

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What Does (or Should) Sermon Preparation Look Like?

ABCave2013_042_edited_BWNote: this is a post that will most likely only be interesting to preachers. But all are welcome to enjoy nonetheless!

Allistair Begg is a fantastic and faithful preacher. He is true to the text, clear as crystal, winsome in delivery, and, not to be unsaid, his accent is just the best. When it comes to preachers, he is one of the best of our day.

Therefore, when he talks about preaching, I listen. In the video below, Pastor Begg offers six steps he takes in his own sermon preparation. There is more to be said here, for sure, but there is not less. Current or aspiring preachers, take notes.

His steps are…

  1. Think yourself empty.
  2. Fill yourself full.
  3. Write yourself clear.
  4. Pray yourself hot.
  5. Be yourself.
  6. Forget yourself.

Listen to him explain each point here. Also, if you like what you here, get his book on preaching here.

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The Friend I Really Need

hopeThere are countless characters in the Bible I have a fondness for. Men and women whom I think to be particularly tender and loving.

John the Apostle always sounds like a loving Pastor/Father who wants nothing more than for me to know the deep, abiding joy that’s only found in the gospel (3 John 4).

Paul the Apostle’s tenderness explodes off the pages of his letters as he lovingly cries over his readers (2 Corinthians 2:4), as he tells them how they bring him joy (2 Timothy 1:4), and how he unceasingly prays for their spiritual health and holiness (1 Thess. 3:10). Paul is a man that fights for the joy of others (2 Corinthians 1:24).

Joseph’s patient endurance and overflowing forgiveness to his brothers always makes me yearn to meet him. I mean, if Joseph could be that merciful (see Genesis 45:1-15) to the brothers who sold him into slavery (which was their plan B only to murder), then how much more gentle and merciful would he be to me?

I want to meet all these men and the countless others who come across the pages of Scripture. They’re kind. They’re gentle. They’re merciful. They’re holy men who love God more than anything else. Knowing how great a sinner I am, those are the kind of men I need in my life. My weakness and failures demand that my friends are gentle, patient, kind, merciful, and holy.

But there is one who is infinitely more patient, kind, loving, holy, and merciful than even these men. There is One who is the sum of all the perfect attributes I yearn for my friends to have. Richard Sibbes shows us just who that is:

When we think of Joseph, Daniel, John the Apostle, we frame conceptions of them with delight, (we think of them) as mild and sweet persons. Much more when we think of Christ,  should we think of Him as a mirror of all meekness. If the sweetness of all flowers were condensed into one, how sweet would that flower be? In Christ all perfections of mercy and love meet. How great then must that mercy be that lives in His gracious heart? Whatever tenderness that a husband, father, brother has is all but a beam from Jesus; all the best qualities in others is in Jesus in the greatest manner.

Yes, we are weak, but we are His.

(Taken from The Bruised Reed, p. 62).

Jesus is the tenderest of all men and the sweetest of all Saviors. My heart’s longing for friends like John, Paul, and Joseph is fulfilled in Jesus.

In the face of my sins, failures, and shortcomings, Jesus comes to me as friend to my soul and Savior of my life. Jesus comes to me with an infinitely greater love for my soul than John could ever have. Jesus comes to me with a more tender care than Paul could ever practice. Jesus comes to me with a desire to forgive my of my great evil against Him that eclipses Joseph’s forgiveness to his brothers. All the good men of Scripture and our lives are but a faint fragrance of Him. Jesus is the best of friends.

Yes, I am weak, but I am His.

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A Most Important Bible Reading Tip

stock-footage-young-hipster-reading-book-drinking-coffee-in-cafe1In his excellent book, Simplify Your Spiritual Life, Donald Whitney offers what I think is a game-changer in how you read and benefit from the Bible.

When you encounter Scripture, search for at least one application of it. For example, when reading God’s Word, say to yourself, “I won’t close my Bible until I can prayerfully think of at least one way to apply what I’ve read.” Such mental scouring of the Scripture for an application is meditation, or at least one form of it.

So as you reflect on the text, do you perceive something God would have you…

  • Stop?
  • Start?
  • Believe?
  • Confess?
  • Pray about?
  • Thank Him for?
  • Communicate to someone?

We cannot expect the Bible to advance our transformation without meditation and application (pp. 68-69).

As James says, “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says” (James 1:22). Take heed and change how you read, and apply.

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What is Your Heart Glued To?

glue-clip-art-glue-outline-mdJeremiah Burroughs:

Something which is glued to another can only be taken off by tearing. So, it is a sign your heart is glued to the world that when God would take you away from something in the world, your heart tears. If God, by suffering, should come to take anything in the world away from you and you can part from it with ease, without tearing, it is a sign then that your heart is not glued to the world. (Taken from The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment, p. 59).

Christ is the One to whom our hearts should be glued. If we glue them to anything else, we are just asking to be ripped to pieces.

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The Saturday Post(s)

Saturday PostWhy Are Anti-Judgmental People So Judgmental? “There’s a growing trend I’ve noticed and have become concerned about: namely, that people who are anti-judgmental are SO judgmental of anyone else they perceive to be passing judgment. One, they’re often wrong; two, they’re just as harsh as those they condemn and continuously assume the worst.”

How to Survive World Religions 101 at College. Learn and live! “Michael Kruger entered his freshman year at the University of North Carolina as a committed Christian. He thought he was ready for the intellectual challenges college would mount against his faith—that is, until he found himself sitting in a New Testament introduction class with Bart Ehrman as his professor. It left him shell-shocked…”

Fasting for Beginners. Helpful counsel on how to get into the spiritual discpline of fasting.

Teaching Our Children the Raw Parts of Scripture. How do we teach our kids the grotesque, violent, sexual, and downright nauseating parts of the Bible?

15 Bible Verses to Combat Lust. Lists like these are helpful to take note of.

10 Ways to Overcome Spiritual Weariness. “Following Jesus yields immeasurable joy, but we can also grow weary from day to day. Weary in parenting, weary in serving, weary in trials and affliction. When we’re weary we can find fresh strength, joy and motivation in Christ. Here are 10 ways to do that…”

Should I Get Rid of My Smartphone? Well, should you?

Leading Your Leaders Retreat. A practical run-down on how a pastor (or Christian leader) could go about leading his (or her) leaders.

Baby Pooping Faces. Even in the stinky parts of life, God inserts some joy.

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Two Questions Every Christian Will Be Able to Answer

13504227031080746708Quiz Question and Answers.svg.medDesiring to become a member of a local church is not an unimportant decision; even more, it should not be a decision that is accepted casually by the church. Therefore, many churches have a process of sorts to bring people through before they’re officially accepted as a church member in order to ensure that those deisiring are making their decision with full knowledge and in full truthfulness (at least as far as they and the leaders can tell).

A.N. Martin speaks about one pastor who asked two questions to those desiring to become church members:

One of the old (pastors) used to ask those who aspired to…church membership, two questions.

Firstly, “What has Christ done for you?” He wanted to see if they understood the objective basis upon which God received sinners. He wanted to see if they understood that men are accepted before God on the basis of the work of Jesus Chris plus nothing. And if it was clear to him that they did not think in any way that they were accepted by virtue of their repentance, their tears, their works, but solely upon the merits of Christ.

Then he would ask them the second question, “What has Christ done in you?” You know what He has done for you, now my question is, “What has He done in you?” He asked that questions because he understood the terrible possibility that a person might have an intellectual grasp of the What has done for sinners, and yet be an utter stranger to His mighty work in sinners. (Taken from The Practical Implications of Calvinism).

It is key to know not only what Christ has done for you on the cross, but also what He has done in you by the working of the Holy Spirit. The salvation Jesus has effected for us will always have a radical affect on us. Therefore, those desiring to become members of any church must be able to explain what Christ has done for them and what Christ has done in them. Every Christian ought to be able to articulate what Jesus has done on the cross for their sins and what He has done in their hearts for their joy.

What has Christ done for you?

What has Christ done in you?

May our churches raise up disciples who have beautiful, humble, and joyful answers for both of these questions. May we rejoice not only in what Christ has done for us, but also marvel at what He has done in us. May we be able to point to the cross as the grounds for our salvation and then point back to our own lives as the fruit of it.

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