3 Ways You May Be Hurting Your Kid

In their book, The Coddling of the American Mind, Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt pinpoint the “Great Untruths” our kids are being taught, often unintentionally, that are hurting them in pervasive and significant ways.

You can find (these Untruths) on college campuses, in high schools, and in many homes. These untruths are rarely taught explicitly; rather, they are conveyed to different people by the rules, practices, and norms that are imposed on them, often with the best of intentions.

Here are the three Great Untruths:

The Untruth of Fragility: What doesn’t kill you makes you weaker.

The Untruth of Emotional Reasoning: Always trust your feelings.

The Untruth of Us Versus Them: Life is a battle between good people and evil people.

The reason they call these “the Great Untruths” instead of merely incorrect statements is because they all transgress three cardinal criteria that ought to be supported by all critically thinking people.

They contradict ancient wisdom; that is, ideas found widely in the wisdom literatures of many cultures.

They contradict modern psychological research on well-being.

They harm the individuals and communities that embrace them.

In Lukainoff and Haidt’s estimation, these three untruths have been embraced by many of our students today. With more that fifteen years of youth ministry and teaching experience within both high school and college institutions, I cannot help but agree. From my vantage point, these Untruths are are real and are creating and fueling the ongoing and ever-increasing problems (cancel culture, creation of challenge-less “safe places” on college campuses, violent hostility toward ideological opponents, etc.) we’re seeing today.

Thankfully, Lukainoff and Haidt aren’t content to be mere doomsday heralds. They offer very practical ways we can work to reorient – to reteach – our students and bring them out from the swamp they’ve been led into. I appreciate the simplicity and profundity of their solutions to these child-destroying Untruths. I think they provide, at very least, a good framework to use as we analyze our own parenting, discipling, and teaching of students.

They write:

We are not saying that the problems facing students … are minor or “all in their heads.” We are saying that what people choose to do in their heads will determine how those real problems affect them. Our argument is ultimately pragmatic, not moralistic: Whatever your identity, background, or political ideology, you will be happier, healthier, stronger, and more likely to succeed in pursuing your own goals if you do the opposite of (these Great untruths). That means (1) seeking out challenges (rather than eliminating or avoiding everything “feels unsafe”), (2) freeing yourself from cognitive distortions (rather than always trusting your initial feelings), and (3) taking a generous view of other people, and looking for nuance (rather than assuming the worst about people within a simplistic us-versus-them morality).

To summarize their solutions with a wonderful proverb they quote in the beginning of their book, we, parents, teachers, and pastors, “must prepare our children for the road, not the road for our children.”

That alone, I think, is sufficient to get us thinking a bit more deeply about the unintentional messages we are teaching our children by our policies, programs, conversations, and decisions. There is more to say, but not less. As is usual, sometimes the most damaging things we can leave for the next generation are not the things we teach with our mouths, but the things we assume in our actions. Instead of preparing our students for the hardships life will unapologetically throw their way, we, by our coddling, could possibly making them weaker and unable to face them in a healthy and life-giving way.

To get a distillation of their thesis, you can read their inaugural article here or get the fully treatment by buying their book.

Or, if you want to hear one of the authors, speak a bit on the topic, here is a ten minute interview worth checking out.

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12 Questions to Detect Pride

Humility is something Christians often praise, but often fail to possess in our daily thoughts, feelings, or actions. It’s something we love in other people. Like a beautiful gem in the earth, it’s rare and regularly disregarded by passersby as nothing more than a rock.

Pride, on the other hand, is like a weed. It grows easily without any effort. It grows everywhere without any planting. It even, from time to time, blooms with little flowers that make it seem OK or even beautiful to the untrained eye. But, it only takes and never gives. Humility is rare, modest, and often missed. Pride is abundant, ostentatious, and regularly tended.

Therefore, for those following Jesus, the One who is “gentle and lowly in heart” (Matt. 11:28), it’s quite important to not only learn the difference between pride and humility, but also how to detect the first and cultivate the second. Christians must become skilled gardeners who know how to pull the weeds of pride and care for the flower of humility.

The first skill to be learned toward this end is knowing how to detect pride’s deadly roots. In no particular order, here are twelve questions to help you find pride in your own heart.

1) Do You Rank Yourself With Others?

Is there a leader-board in your mind concerning the love, service, intelligence, or giftedness of yourself and those in your life? Pride seeks first place in that list, constantly checks its own rankings, and regularly makes updates. Humility doesn’t even know there is a list. If it did have a list, humility would genuinely believe itself at the list’s bottom because it’s so aware of God’s glory, others’ good, and how little they bring to the table!

2) How Do You Treat Those “Beneath” You?

Pride demands honor, respect, deference, service, and more from those it deems, “beneath us”; that is, those under us in age, intelligence, wealth, status, abilities, job, or maturity. Even more, pride pays attention to these “inferiors” with little mind, care, patience, or love. Humility, on the other hand, lowers itself under those around, regardless of their “rank,” to love them, serve them, and lift them up in honor. So, how do you treat the barista at the coffee shop, the jr. higher, the waiter, the guys cleaning your car, the janitor, or the delivery guy? Pride barely recognizes those under us, humility exalts them.

3) How Often Do You Insert Yourself Into Conversation Or Activities; Or Want To?

Is your resume or trophy shelf ever ready to share? Do you find yourself as the answer to everyone else’s problems? Pride chases the spotlight and thinks of its own wisdom as the solution. Humility holds the spotlight for Jesus and has him as the only answer for the world’s problems. Humility isn’t the guy with all the answers, but it knows The Guy with all the answers. What do you bring to conversations or people’s problems? What is your boast? Are you like Nebuchadnezzar (Daniel 4:30) or John the Baptist (John 3:30)?

4) Who Do You Pull Near & Who Do You Push Away?

Do you align yourself with people of great esteem and reject or deny your relationships with the unimpressive? Are you proud of your connections with the popular, no matter how strenuous your tie? Are you embarrassed by friendship with the unremarkable? Do you grasp for those high on the ladder of Man’s praise and kick the heads of those who are a few rungs lower than you? Pride wants to share in the glory of the “glorious,” humility is happy to climb down the ladder and be called friends of the average.

5) What Happens Within You When You’re Disrespected?

We so quickly say of ourselves, “I am a sinner!” but will fight anyone else who says that about us. We love humility, but hate anyone who humbles us. Our mouths confess humility, but our anger reveals our pride. Now, your right, we don’t want to encourage insult or disrespect and should oppose it when given unjustly or untruthfully. But humility will keep our hearts from outrage when disrespect comes our way because it knows, “In truth, I am worse than they think!”

6) What Happens to Your Heart in Suffering?

Do you rail against God, “How dare you treat me like this! Don’t you know who I am and what I’ve done for you?” Do you despise God if he ever lowers your station or your status? If so, in times of peace you never actually had humility, just an external politeness toward God as long as he didn’t touch your throne, your robe, your crown, or your kingdom. That’s a truce, not humility. In suffering, humility says, “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21). Or, “Though he slay me, I will hope in him” (Job 13:15). Pride demands honor and blessing. Humility just clings to God and trusts his heart in both the green grass and the dark valley (Psalm 23:1-4). Pride demands God. Humility just depends on Him.

7) What Do You Seek?

Pride seeks a Throne. Humility seeks a wash bucket (John 13:3-5). Pride commands, “Wash my feet!” Humility asks, “Whose feet may I wash?” Pride climbs. Humility kneels. This gets a little tricky in the church where honor is given to those who serve well. However, we can still ask, “Am I seeking a specific kind of service or am I happy to serve wherever there is need?” Are we seeking service that will have many look to us, evaluate us, honor us, and praise us? Or are we happy to serve the body in whatever way it needs most at the time? Are we upset when certain roles are not offered (teaching, group leader, music ministry, etc.)? Or, are we upset when certain roles are offered (youth ministry discipler, prayer ministry, kids ministry, set-up or tear down crew, etc.)? Is our service done to be seen or to love? Even in our service, what are we seeking?

8) Am I Grateful?

Pride is entitled and sees all as its due. Humility is grateful for all God’s graces – spiritual and physical – and sees nothing as deserved. Pride sees everything as wages. Humility sees everything as gift. Do you wish to kill pride and cultivate humility? Open your eyes, count your blessings, and shout from the depths of your heart, “Thanks be to God for all his grace toward me!” Gratefulness is terrible soil for pride and miracle-grow for humility. For those convinced they deserve hell, every good thing, great or small, is an reason for eternally grateful and happy hearts.

9) How Do You Feel About the Success of Others?

When the promotion is given to someone else? When the other guy is made team captain? When the other father’s child makes honor roll or wins State? When revival happens in the church down the street? What happens within you when others around you succeed in what you’re doing? Pride despises the success of others and makes us miserable whenever it happens. Humility rejoices enthusiastically when good comes to or from others.

10) What’s Your Source of Strength or Motivation?

Do you act like a fountain or do you embrace your role as a drain? Jesus says, “Apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). Do you disagree? At least in your actions if not with your mouth? Are you living in the flesh or in the Spirit? Do you heartily believe God’s promises, follow his command, and eat His daily bread as your nourishment? Or do you have a different food to sustain you? Do you go to the Word, the Supper, the church, and prayer to sustain you? Are these your sources of strength and motivation or do you see them as speed bumps to your ladder climb success? Do you, in your daily routine, throw off God’s graces and replace them with your own or do you, with holy-greediness, take and eat all that God serves you?

11) How Do You Treat Your Leaders?

How do you see and treat the pastors God has gifted to your church (Ephesians 4:11)? Paul’s words will help set the stage for our self-examination here:

We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, 13 and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves.

1 Thessalonians 5:12-13

To make this as practical as possible, a simple question: do you practice these things toward your church’s leaders? Do you recognize and reverently honor your pastors’ God-given role in your life and your church (1 Thess. 5:12)? Do you truly value and esteem them highly in your minds and with your mouths (1 Thess. 5:13a)? Do you support their ministry and actively work to bring peace into your church (1 Thess. 5:13b). If you find yourself ungrateful for your leaders, speaking ill of them in action or attitude, or contributing to ungodly division within your church family, then pride is your pilot. Humility loves to esteem, support, and stand in unity with those who love the Lord and desire to do His work; especially those entrusted the task of leading the church. Pride or humility is revealed in how you relate to those God has called you to humbly support and submit to (1 Peter 5:5-7; Hebrews 13:17).

12) How Do You Relate to the Local Church?

If you find yourself outside of or unconnected to a local church family, then you are in even more danger since you likely feel sufficient within yourself to follow the Lord. Keeping yourself outside the flock of God is nothing less than relying on your own wisdom, strength, and godliness to walk the narrow path. Even more, it is rejecting God’s gracious instruction to live under the care of His pastors and in the care of his people (Eph. 4:11; 1 Thess. 5:12-13; 1 Cor. 12:12-31); 1 Peter 5:5-7). It’s relying on our own strength within us and rejecting God’s Word to us. Churchless Christianity is a flower-weed that blooms well in the heart-soil of self-trust and self-sufficiency. Humility sees its need for God’s grace given through God’s people.

I know there are more questions we could be asking, but I am sure these will offer a good start.

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5 Ways God Doesn’t Act Like We Think He Should

I have been slowly reading through Exodus for my devotions and it’s been delicious. One of the particular ways it is helping me is by exposing many of our time-honored assumptions as painfully false.

Here are five I’ve picked up on so far.

God Doesn’t Share Our Concept of Time

God promised Abraham his people would inherit the Promised Land (Gen 15:13). That didn’t happen until six to eight hundred years later. Their temporary stay Egypt lasted around four-hundred years (Gen 15:14; Acts 7:6). Once the Israelites were enslaved in Egypt and cried out to God, one would expect him to act right away, but he took eighty more years to finally send Moses. God doesn’t work along our timeline, but his own. In our waiting, we must always remember he’s never idle, he’s never late, and he doesn’t work from our iCals.

God Doesn’t Usually Explain What He’s Presently Doing

Living through the Exodus was a different experience than reading about the Exodus. As readers, we see what’s happening behind the scenes and we know the end. That completely changes the way we interact with the event. We read and marvel at God’s fatherly care, providential work, and gracious deliverance throughout the story because its right there in the text. We see what’s on stage and what’s happening behind the curtain. However, for those living the Exodus, they never got an explanation. Most of God’s saving work in Exodus – what he was doing during the four-hundred years of waiting in slavery, the eight-decades of Israel crying our in slavery, the two two forty day trips Moses took up Mount Sinai – was done with absolutely no explanation from God about what he was doing. No updates. No newsletters. No postcards or texts. Complete radio silence.

Sometimes we believe God will always make his present work plain to us, that he’ll explain or make clear what he’s currently up to, but that is just not his style. Instead, as Alec Motyer says:

“God offers no explanations, but grants people sufficient insight into his ways, his character, his intentions and his changeless faithfulness so that, however dark the day, they can live by faith and be sustained by hope.”

I don’t think God is in the habit for explaining himself because we aren’t qualified to judge his plans rightly in the moment and because explaining himself to us will only train us to trust the answer, not the One who has the answer. God has proven the trustworthiness of his word and work for millennia. Sheep don’t need explanations, only trust that their shepherd is on duty.

God Doesn’t Need Us to Be Strong Or Well-Resourced

What I find really amazing about God using Moses was not only that he used Moses, but also when he used Moses. For the first forty-years of his life Moses, as a son of Pharaoh’s court, had the prestige, the platform, the power, and the position to deliver the Israelites. From a human perspective, he had everything needed to free Israel. He was a man with loads of street cred. However, Moses’ initial attempts to help the Israelites failed miserably (2:12-14) and ended with him taking care of some sheep in the desert. However, after forty years in obscurity where Moses lost all his earthly platform, position, power, and prestige as a son in Pharaoh’s court, God used him. Psalm 20:7-8 offers the lesson well:

“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. They collapse and fall, but we rise and stand upright.”

Maybe, God doesn’t need our skills, platforms, resources, or handy tools to do his work. Is it possible that trusting obedience to God’s Word is enough to accomplish God’s work because, “the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men” (1 Cor. 1:25). God loves using weak fools so we’re finally convinced his name alone is Strength and Wisdom.

God Doesn’t Demand a Impressive Resume

Moses told God he was not a good speaker, but instead he was, “slow of speech and of tongue” (Ex 4:10). In other words, he didn’t have a YouTube channel. He wasn’t an influencer. He wasn’t getting invited to churches or conferences for speaking gigs. Apart from his own self-description, he was also a murderer and stuff (Ex 2:12). Even more, though the first forty years of his life were no doubt impressive – filled with good connections, schooling, and references – all that was completely null after his forty years of shepherding in the desert. Being morally questionable, lacking experience as a leader, and being destitute of any recommendations other than his foreigner father-in-law, if any of us had the job of hiring Israel’s deliverer, Moses’ resume wouldn’t likely make the final round. However, God doesn’t need or – even better – demand an impressive resume. He needs only those who will trust his word and put their hand to the work he calls them to. Where God calls, God empowers.

God Doesn’t Work in the Ways We Expect Him.

When Pharaoh used his royal power to enslave the nation of Israel, commanded the Israelites to kill their babies, and, when they disobeyed his order, he told the entire nation to join in the work of baby-killing, it seemed like the Israelites would be doomed unless God did some flood-the-world kind of action. However, God didn’t flood the world. He didn’t send down fire. Yes, it’s true, about eighty years later God raised up Moses and did some wicked-cool salvation stuff. But, that’s not how he initially worked to protect and preserve his people. Do you remember how God counteracted the evil work of most powerful man of the most powerful nation of its day? He sent in the ladies. In the first two chapters of Exodus, God used faithful Israelite mid-wives (the leaders of which seem to be Shiphrah and Puah; Ex 1:15) to save the Israelite babies. He used Moses’ mother’s brave disobedience to Pharaoh’s decree to preserve Moses. He sent the tender-hearted daughter of Pharaoh to find, rescue, and adopt little floating Moses. To top it off, he positioned Miriam as Pharaoh’s daughters servant and emboldened her to suggest the new-found baby could be wet-nursed by a Hebrew gal she knew (i.e.Moses’ mom!). As Pharaoh commanded that each Israelite boy be murdered, God used women to reduce the murders and, even more miraculously, to have the one future delivered not only spared, but raised within Pharaoh’s own home. God used women to raise up Pharaoh’s greatest enemy within his own home. God is always working out his plan, but rarely in the way we expect.

Children don’t understand the ways and workings of their parents. How foolish would it be for a child who, when confused by their parents ways, concluded, “Because you are not working in the way I understand or expect you to, you are in the wrong.” How much more foolish would it be for us to say such a thing to our Infinite and Holy God?

Don’t demand God fit your assumptions, but seek for God to change them. As the Prince of Preachers said, “God is too good to be unkind and He is too wise to be mistaken. And when we cannot trace His hand, we must trust His heart.”

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Three Counsels for the Hard Path

I recently had the opportunity to give the following address at the 8th grade graduation ceremony for the Independent Learning Academy in Orange County.


I want to thank the Independent Learning Academy leadership, parents, and students for the privilege and honor of offering a few words at such an important occasion as this.

Graduation: A Time For Unsolicited Advice

Graduates, this is one of your first experiences of what we’ll call, “A Big Kid” graduation. Though your kindergarten or 6th grade graduation were meaningful and important, they were also very different. You most likely have noticed the differences that come along with a more mature graduation celebration. You may have received better gifts or your having bigger parties. Mom and dad might be dressed a little fancier. Maybe later, your big celebration dinner won’t be at McDonald’s, but something way swankier like Sizzler or more exotic like Taco Bell. Welcome to a new kind of graduation.

There is one specific feature of these “Big Kid” graduations I would like to point out. You may have noticed it already: people love to give advice you never asked for. In your previous graduations, you probably weren’t given much sagely advice (you were still working on not wetting the bed). Now you’re a young adult, you’ll start getting all sorts of un-asked for advice. Sometimes the advice will be good and you’ll remember it forever like, “Don’t leave for tomorrow what can be done today.” Sometimes the advice will be very practical like, “Work hard, and play hard and never confuse the two.”Some of the advice will be surprising and a little weird and you’ll remember it forever like the advice I one time received from a weird family member: “Never make a Samoan angry” (which, I have obeyed to this day!). Whether you find it helpful or weird or confusing, the advice will likely come from a place of love so you can always appreciate the love it came from.

The Need For Good Advice: The Path to Life is Hard

It’s worth asking, “Why do people give advice so easily?” For some of you, it may be because they think, “This poor kid needs all the help they can get.” Others may offer advice because they’ve been genuinely helped by it and they want you to experience the same. I think one reason is this: life is hard to live well and we’ll need help. The really good life that God offers you in Jesus, doesn’t come by going with the flow but by walking a difficult path.

Jesus said it this way:

“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” Matthew 7:13–14

Knowing he wouldn’t be with them forever (they’d have a graduation of their own, of sorts), Jesus tells his disciples they’ll be offered two paths to follow and only one can be chosen. The first path Jesus speaks about is the easy path. It’s has 16, very wide lanes and straight roads. Every lane has a fast pass. There are no potholes. And at night it is well-lit. It’s a comfortable and easy road and it is very popular. This is the path of the world in rejection of God. The other path Jesus describes as narrow, difficult, and very unpopular. It’s hard to get on. It’s hard to stay on. But, it is very easy to get off. This is the path of following Jesus.

What path you choose is determined by this: are you focused on the journey or the destination? You live in a world that will tell you to focus on the path and the ease and comfort it will bring. Jesus, instead, calls you to focus on the destination and the eternal life it will bring. As you consider these two paths, consider this truth: the journey is temporary, but the destination is final.

So, why all this un-asked for advice? At least for your Christian, friends and family, it’s because know the world’s path easy and attractive, but deadly. They know the path of Jesus – the path to life, wisdom, and joy – is difficult but life-giving. They know, for you to choose the hard path of life, you’ll need all the help, encouragement, and wisdom you can get.

3 Counsels for the Hard Path

So, allow me to join the chorus of advice-givers and offer three pieces of wisdom to help you take the hard path to life.

1) Trust God’s Word

Proverbs 3:5 gives us this counsel with perfect clarity, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart.” I understand this is not earth-shattering. This is kindergarten Christianity. But, I find that the most important truths are like the tip of your nose—they’re hardest because they’re right in front of you. So, before dismissing it, let’s dissect it for a moment.

What is trusting God? It’s happily acknowledging him as the leader of all we think, feel, and do. It is scooting over to the passenger seat of your soul and telling God, “You drive.”

Why should we trust God? If you have the smallest knowledge of Him, it’s obvious.

God is all-wise. He doesn’t lack knowledge so he’d never give us uninformed advice. He knows the best goals we should seek and the best ways of obtaining them!

God is all-truthful! He will never deceive us or offer white lies or half-truths. He doesn’t deal in fake news. Everything He says is true and can be completely trusted.

God is all-powerful! Nothing in all the world can overthrow his plans or keep him from fulfilling his promises. His good plan for the world will come to pass.

You may ask, “But, there are a lot of wise and powerful people in the world and they use those qualities to hurt people rather than help them!” And you’d be right. But, there is one more attribute of God that erases that fear.

God is love. God is not only wise, truthful, and powerful; He’s truly loving. Numbers 14:18 says, “The Lord is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” “But,” you may say, “Actions speak louder than words!” And you would be right! God proves his love in action! John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son.” Romans 5:8 shows, “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

God’s wisdom, truthfulness, and power means He should be feared as King and Judge, but His love, proven through the cross, means He can be trusted as Father.

God’s wisdom means He’ll never be mistaken. His truthfulness means He’ll never lie to you. His power means His plans and promises will always be fulfilled. His love means that everything He says and does is for your joy in Christ both here and for eternity. God’s wisdom, truthfulness, and power means He should be feared as King and Judge, but His love, proven through the cross, means He can be trusted as Father. Who else is more qualified for your ultimate trust?

Jesus Is My Co-Pilot?

Have you ever seen the bumper-sticker that says, “Jesus Is My Copilot”? I understand the idea, but it is terribly misleading. Usually co-pilots are second in command for a reason, they’re not as qualified as the real pilot. Saying Jesus is my co-pilot is like a high school quarterback saying Tom Brady is my back-up or a Jr. High baseball player saying Mike Trout is my ball-boy. Said simply, Jesus is far too qualified to be your Co-Pilot.

If you want joy in your life, then adopt the prayer of the great theologian and country singer, Carrie Underwood, and from your heart pray, “Jesus take the wheel! Take it from my hands!” Or, to use the words of Scripture, if you want joy, then “trust the Lord with all your heart” (Prov. 3:5). He will never fail you.

This leads to my second counsel…

2) Trust God’s People

The most significant accomplishments in life can only be done with the help of others. Consider a few examples. Wars are won not by one soldier, but an army. Mount Everestis hiked not by one hiker, but a team. Even accomplishments of individuals aren’t usually done alone. Authors usually have a list of people they thank for helping them write a book. Athletes of individual sports usually have a long list of coaches, friends, mentors, or trainers who were essential to their success. The most difficult accomplishments are not the work of one gifted individual, but the product of a community. Difficult and important accomplishments should never be done alone.

This is also true for those following Jesus on the hard road. Following Jesus is not like golf, but football. It cannot be done alone. Even more, God doesn’t want you to do it alone. Consider what God says about our need for help from others.

Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14

In abundance of counselors there is victory. Proverbs 24:6

Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. Proverbs 19:20

God says the same thing about you that he said about Adam, “It is not good for you to be alone.”

Saved Into a Family

The need for others is even more obvious when we look at what God does for us through Jesus. Galatians 4:4-5 shows us two things God sought to accomplish through the cross of Jesus:

When the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.

God sent Jesus to redeem us from sin – to eradicate our sin by Jesus being punished for us. But there was a second goal of the cross: “so we might receive adoption as sons!” Through the cross, God has not only saved us out of our sin, but He has saved us into His family – the church. Every Christian is not only forgiven unto freedom, but they’re adopted into a family!

The Blessings of a Church Family

Practically, here is what I want you to understand: God wants you to follow Jesus on the hard road to life with the help of the church! The church is one big hiking party. What does this look like?

  • God wants you to not only read and study His Word on your own, but be helped by the teaching and preaching of your church’s pastors and leaders.
  • God wants you to learn not only from what you hear people say, but by the example godly people around you give.
  • God wants you to have a church family who will pick you up when you fall, support you when you are weak, encourage you when you are discouraged, and spur you on you when you begin to slow down. 
  • God does not want you to rely on your own experience, but to live off the wisdom of other so you can avoid the pitfalls they fell into and enjoy the blessings they’ve come to know.

God doesn’t want you to do this alone and this is incredibly joyful news!

God Sends His Army

Imagine you were a soldier caught behind enemy lines. How crushing would it be to hear back from base, “You have to find your own way back.” How better would it be to hear, “We’re sending our best solider to rescue you and help you get back home!” But, imagine how incredible it would be to hear, “Hold on, the army is on its way.” This is what God gives you in His church. Not figure it out on your own, not one helper, but an army marching under the banner of his love, dedicated to helping you get home.

Trust the godly people of your family and church.

3) Do No Trust Yourself

We mentioned the first part of Proverbs 3:5, but now I want to read the second half. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” In other words, trust God and don’t trust yourself.

Now, this may sound odd to some of you because, like me, you’ve seen a lot of Disney movies with the opposite message of “Believe in yourself!” or “Follow your heart!” But, as a big Elsa fan, I think Jesus may be the one to go with here for at least two reasons.

First, I think your future self will agree. Think of it this way. As you look back upon your 6th grade self, you most likely are not impressed. Now that you have 2 more years of experience and Jr. High completed, you look at your 6th grade self and think, “I didn’t know anything.” In the same way, think about yourself 4 years from now. When you graduate high school and look back onto this day you will most likely think, “I didn’t know anything! I was a fool!” You see, we often think our present-self is smart, wise, and experienced, but as we grow older and look back, we’re always less impressed. More time and more growth helps us see what we couldn’t in the moment. So, as confident as you may be of yourself now, remember, you’re probably missing something. You may not want to trust that you have everything figured when your future-self will likely disagree.

The second reason I think this is good advice is this: our perceptions aren’t always trustworthy. People studying to be airplane pilots are trained to not trust their intuition or their feelings. At times, planes can fly through fog so dense for so long that pilots lose their sense of up and down. In these times, they can be completely convinced that up is down and down is up and if they followed their feelings and pulled “up” they’d drive the plane straight into the ground. So, instead, pilots are trained that their perceptions and their feelings won’t always tell them the truth. Instead, they’re trained to trust the instruments on the dashboard instead of their feelings.

One of the reasons the easy path is so easy because it requires you only to trust in yourself. There is nothing easier than to be the driver and navigator of our own life. However, self-trust is also the reason that the easy path leads to destruction. We are not good, wise, or trustworthy like God and, therefore, we can never find for ourselves the life only God can give. Therefore, the hard path demands we give up trust in ourselves and cast it completely over to God. The hard path demands tattoo the words of Jesus on our eyeballs, “Not my will be done, but your will.” That’s hard, but it’s the only way to life.

So (1) trust God, (2) trust godly people, (3) don’t trust yourself.

Jesus’ Upside Down Counsel

One last reason these counsels are difficult is because we live in a world that completely reverses the list. The world’s directions for the easy path are: (1) Trust self, (2) trust others who affirm you, (3) don’t trust God. This is why there are two paths and you have to choose one or the other: they’re going in completely opposite directions. Those who put King Self on the throne of their life will always take the easy path to destruction. Those who put King Jesus on the throne of their life walk the hard path to life. There is no third way.

A question for you today is: which road will I take? Will your eyes be on the path or the destination? Will you be a person mainly looking for an easy road or a life-giving destination? Your answer to that question will not only determine the rest of your life here, but forever more.

Commanded For Our Joy

I recognize that so much talk of the “hard path” can make following Jesus seems like an overall dreary affair. Yes, it has a happy ending, but that’s the only place happiness is. But that’s not true. Jesus explains the intent behind his commands in John 15:10-11:

If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. 11 These (commands) I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

His commands are not to steal our joy, but to give us His joy!

I remember one time I had a birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese’s. As I was playing an arcade game, my mom came up to me with something in her hand that looked like a hair ball I’d find under my bed, except that it was bright blue. She gave me one simple command, “Eat this.” I was stunned. “Eat that? You want me to eat blue hair? You’re kidding. You’re crazy. You’re cruel!” After a solid struggle, my mom ruthlessly overpowered me and shoved the blue hair into my mouth. Right as I was about to cry out for another sane adult to rescue me, it hit me: flavors and sweetness I had never known before. It was like a grenade of joy and rainbows exploded in my mouth. I had never tasted anything like it before. This was the first time I ever had cotton candy.

The purpose of my mom’s command was not take away my joy, but to give me joy. In the same way, Jesus gives you these counsels, “that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full” (John 15:11). He isn’t out to empty your joy but make it full. Even when his path seems hard, you can know it only leads to joy.

Students, hear me clearly: today is a day of joy and celebration. Drink it deeply. But with this celebration, I leave you with these three charges: trust God, trust godly people, and do not trust yourself. If you do, you will avoid the easy path of the world that leads to destruction and stay on the hard path to the abundant, joy-filled life God has created and saved you to have.

Be thankful for the good advice and the wise people who give it.

Laugh at the weird advice and love the weird people who give it.

But cling to the life-giving advice with all you have and follow the Savior that gives it.

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The Ordinary & Magnificent Church

Pastor Dustin Benge:

I grew up in a small Southern Baptist church in eastern Kentucky. Four generations of my family had attended the church, and my great-great-grandparents were buried nearby. My grandpa drove the church bus, and my mom played the piano.

I remember the Christian and American flags flanking the stage as we sang patriotic songs every year during VBS. The pastor preached from the KJV, visited the sick, and called unbelievers to repentance. We sang from the Heavenly Highway Hymnbook. I heard the gospel, was saved and called to preach in this church.

When I began theological education, I quickly became puffed up with pride thinking I knew much more than everyone in this little southern church who were not as “intellectual and I was.” Many years later, I came to realize that these faithful farmers, miners, teachers, truck drivers, veterans, and homemakers genuinely loved the Lord, the gospel of Christ, their neighbors, and desired to obey the Bible faithfully.

Could they have been more theologically precise, perhaps? Could the sermons have been more hermeneutically correct, maybe? Could there have been more training for leaders, probably? But I came to realize that I had more to learn from these men and women than I had to teach them. They weren’t perfect, but now that I look back, I was in heaven on earth. This was the church.

We may have degrees and experience, but we must never dismiss those who faithfully serve the Lord. Their names are known only in heaven and within the communities they’ve served. Let’s pray for these warriors of Christ, for they’ll enter glory far ahead many of us.

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Don’t Exchange Fake News for Faker News

Julie Masson offers a needed warning and some sound counsel for those rightly wary of being duped by fake news :

We are currently dealing with some people in our lives who wholeheartedly distrust any “mainstream media.” But they believe the random dude on YouTube who “knows what’s really going on.” As Christians, I hope that we can be discerning as we consume and engage with any media.

And we should also remember a few things.

1. Your typical journalist/reporter has a boss that they are accountable to just like you are accountable to your boss. They will have bias for sure but that does not mean they are simply saying lies. They can’t or they’d be fired.

2. Your typical news outlet will have several people who review content before it is published or put on the air. Again, this doesn’t mean bias doesn’t exist. But several people are doing their jobs to make sure their info is credible.

3. As Hannah Anderson said so well, our ability to go directly to a source is much easier these days. So any news outlet worth their salt knows that people are able to “fact check” what they say.

Again, this doesn’t mean there isn’t bias. But we can’t believe everyone is lying. Rather we should watch/read multiple sources. Chris Martin said it well when he said:

“I have noticed that truth can often be found where the Right and Left outlets’ stories are the same. For example, if a Right outlet and a Left outlet both report that Event X occurred, that it occurred in City Y and that approximately Z number of people were impacted, all of that is likely true. When Right and Left then explain the implications of Event X, whether Event X was right or wrong, & perhaps who may be to blame for Event X, this is where bias may exist and the stories may differ. This isn’t always the case, but I have often found it to be so.”

If as Christians we only trust the sources we find in the obscure corners of the web on websites with donate buttons and videos that say “please share this” so the person can build a following, then we are actually trusting more in ourselves.

We should be in the word daily and we should be discerning as we engage with any media but if “discernment” means that we only trust the person who says what we want to be true, I think that means we are putting our trust in ourselves and not the God who will help us discern.

Confirmation bias is a heck of a drug that’ll enslave your mouse and your mind. Be soberly skeptical, discerning, and don’t fight fake news with fake news.

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Bible Reading Plans for 2021

It is 2021! God help us.

If you are like many, you have a list of resolutions to improve yourself in the new year. And, like my friend Sam Luce says, that’s a good thing when done with the cross in mind. May God give you the grace needed to carry out the good plans and the wisdom needed to quit the dumb ones.

Among the resolutions you’ve planned already, I would like, on the Eve of this new year, to ask you to consider one more: plan to read the whole Bible in 2021.

Why Read the Whole Bible?

Think that’s irrelevant or too lofty? Allow me to persuade you otherwise with a few points.

First, here are a few reasons reading all the Bible in 2021 should excite you.

Second, listen to a simple word of encouragement: you can read the whole Bible. Justin Taylor notes that, “The average person reads 200 to 250 words per minute; there are about 775,000 words in the Bible; therefore it takes less than 10 minutes a day to read the whole Bible in a year.” No matter how slow of a reader you are, you can still do it.

Third, you make plans for other stuff, why not reading the Bible? As John Piper once wrote, “We take steps to see that we have enough to eat and clothes to keep us warm. But do we take our spiritual needs that seriously? Do we apply the same earnestness in planning to maximize our ministry as we do in planning to make a living?”

Lastly, if you don’t plan to read the Bible this year, just know this: you won’t.

Good. Now that you’re excited, encouraged, motivated, and hopefully sobered up, allow me to offer you some Bible reading plans to take on in 2021.

A List of Plans to Read the Whole Bible

This list isn’t exhaustive, but it should serve as a helpful start. The list is ordered with the easiest plans first (least amount of daily reading) to more robust plans that cover more ground in a lesser amount of time.

The Bible Reading Record Keeper. This isn’t a reading plan, but it is a record keeping sheet that lists all the books of the Bible with their respective chapters numbered to the side. This tool helps keep track of what books in the Bible you have read and those you haven’t. For those who don’t want to follow a particular plan, but plan on regularly reading a few chapters each day, this is can serve as a helpful tool to make sure you’re covering all God’s Word. Here is the same idea, just much more pretty.

5 Day Bible Reading Plan. “This special Bible reading system allows you to read the entire Bible (or just the New Testament) in one year while only reading five times a week. Five readings a week gives room to catch up or take a needed day off, and makes daily Bible reading practical and do-able.”

52 Week Bible Reading Plan. “Read through the Bible in a year, with each day of the week dedicated to a different genre: Epistles, The Law, History, Psalms, Poetry, Prophecy, and Gospels.”

The Bible Reading Plan for Shirkers and Slackers. Justin Taylor describes this plan as one that, “takes away the pressure (and guilt) of ‘keeping up’ with the entire Bible in one year. You get variety within the week by alternating genres by day, but also continuity by sticking with one genre each day. Here’s the basic idea:

  • Sundays: Poetry
  • Mondays: Pentateuch (Genesis through Deuteronomy)
  • Tuesdays: Old Testament history
  • Wednesdays: Old Testament history
  • Thursdays: Old Testament prophets
  • Fridays: New Testament history
  • Saturdays: New Testament epistles (letters).”

The Discipleship Journal Bible Reading Plan. This gives you 25 readings each month from four different places (it begins in Genesis, Psalms, Matthew and Acts). Having 25 readings each month means you will have a few “catch up” days each month if you fell behind or “free days” to study passages that intrigued you more deeply.

The Chronological Bible Reading Plan. Read through the Bible in the order the events occurred chronologically. This helps some people focus on the unfolding story a little better.

The Historical Reading of the Bible. “The Old Testament readings are similar to Israel’s Hebrew Bible, and the New Testament readings are an attempt to follow the order in which the books were authored.”

The Kingdom Bible Reading Plan. In this plan the Old Testament receives three readings per day and the New Testament gets one reading per day. “The Old Testament readings follow the arrangement of Jesus’ Bible (Luke 24:44 – Law, Prophets, Writings), with one reading coming from each portion per day. In a single year, one reads through Psalms twice and all other biblical books once…Only twenty-five readings are slated per month in order to provide more flexibility in daily devotions. The plan can be started at any time of the year, and if four readings per day are too much, the plan can simply be stretched to two or more years (reading from one, two, or three columns per day).”

Read Through the Whole Bible in Order. “This plan calls for reading all the books of the Bible in canonical order in one year. Each day’s reading is about 3-4 chapters in length, with the exception of the Psalms (which are covered in 5 chapters per day). The idea is to read longer chapters in groups of three (e.g., Pentateuchal narratives, Gospels) and shorter chapters in groups of four. There are 7 “catch-up” days scattered throughout the calendar.”

The Ligonier Bible Reading Plan. “Two readings each day; one from the Old Testament and one from the New Testament.” Being from Ligonier, you can get the plan in the Ligonier App (iPhone / iPadAndroid, Kindle Fire & Windows Phone) and YouVersion.

The Legacy Plan. “This plan does not have set readings for each day. Instead, it has set books for each month, and set number of Proverbs and Psalms to read each week. It aims to give you more flexibility, while grounding you in specific books of the Bible each month.”

The Robert M’Cheyne Plan. My wife and I did this one in 2011 and enjoyed it. This plan starts you in the four great beginnings of Scripture (beginning of creation in Genesis 1, beginning of Israel’s return from Exile in Ezra 1, beginning of Christ’s incarnation in Matthew 1, and beginning of the church in Acts 1). This plan will have you read through the whole Old Testament once and the New Testament and Psalms twice. It is four chapters a day. One great thing is it has you in four different places in the Bible at once so when you hit the less than inspirational sections (genealogies, records, etc.), you will still be in more immediately helpful sections. Also, you can grab D.A. Carson’s marvelous devotional based on this reading plan here and here. If you don’t want to buy the book, you can subscribe to a daily email where you are sent the devotional for that day’s reading.

5X5X5 Plan. The Ligonier site explains this one as such: “Read through the New Testament in a year, reading Monday to Friday. Weekends are set aside for reflection and other reading. Especially beneficial if you’re new to a daily discipline of Bible reading.”

52 Week Plan. Gets you through the entire Bible in one year. Each day of the week (Monday through Sunday) is dedicated to a different Biblical genre: Epistles, The Law, History, Psalms, Poetry, Prophecy, and Gospels. This one provides huge variety in daily readings.

Professor Horner’s Plan. Professor Horner’s System is not for the faint of heart. It calls for 10 chapters per day. With this plan, you will read 10 chapters from 10 different books each day. It is a Bible reading immersion plan. No treading the waters with this one, just diving. Here is one pastor’s hearty recommendation.

A Few Helps Along the Way

Here are some resources to help make sure your Bible reading doesn’t amount to you sounding out empty words in your head without actually understanding or appreciating what you’re reading.

Overview of the Bible. Lots of people don’t finish their plans to read the Bible because they get lost in what’s happening. Here, Dr. R.C. Sproul will help you grasp an overview of the Bible so you are equipped to read all that God has given you!

A Graph of the Old Testament Timeline. This is a simple map of the Old Testament timeline. It serves to help you locate where you are in the Old Testament timeline as you’re reading the Old Testament. Like a movie, we need to know how each scene of the Bible fits into the larger plot.

Don’t Scorn Audio Bibles! Most of the Christians in the first few decades of the church most likely heard the Bible more than they read it, so don’t discount audio Bibles. Most audio Bibles are around 75 hours long, so you can listen to it in just over 12 minutes a day. Biblegateway has a lot of audio Bibles offered free of charge.

Reading the Bible Through the Jesus Lens. This is a fantastic book that provides a very brief background and introduction to every book in the Bible along with an explanation for how each respective books anticipates or points to the person and work of Jesus Christ. This way you are prepared to understand each book and how it relates to all of God’s redeeming work! Highly recommended.

God’s Big Picture. The publisher’s description describes it well: “In this excellent overview, Vaughan Roberts gives you the big picture – showing how the different parts of the Bible fit together under the theme of the kingdom of God. He provides both the encouragement and the tools to help you read the Bible with confidence and understanding. And he points you to the Bible’s supreme subject, Jesus Christ, and the salvation God offers through him.” Also, two other helpful books that provide the same overarching story line of the Bible are Carson’s The God Who is There and Graeme Goldsworthy’s According to Plan.

Of the making of Bible Reading plans, there is no end. This is not an exhaustive list and it will not be the last. There are a lot more plans out there (like these and these and these). But, in the end, I hope you will make a plan to read God’s Word. Don’t leave it to whenever you find the time because Satan will make sure the time evades you. As the old saying goes, “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.” Don’t fail to plan your Bible reading because then you’re planning to fail in reading your Bible.

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Why Christmas?

Adorbz

At Christmas, we Christians remember and celebrate the incredible event where God became a man. Charles Spurgeon expressed the proper kind of admiration we ought to have when thinking about such an event:

Infinite, and an infant—eternal, and yet born of a woman—Almighty, and yet hanging on a woman’s breast—supporting the universe, and yet needing to be carried in a mother’s arms—king of angels, and yet the reputed son of Joseph—heir of all things and yet the carpenter’s despised son!

God becoming a man (a.k.a. the incarnation) is a mind-blowing whose mysteries couldn’t be fully grasped here or in eternity to come. Brain shattering, awe-inducing stuff.

Why Did God Become Man Anyway?

As we think about such an event, I encourage you to not only admire, but also ask. One good question to start with is, “Why did God become a man?” What was so important about becoming a human being in order to save human beings? What does Jesus becoming man accomplish that other methods could not?

Well, it’s Christmas and I don’t want to wax eloquent for too long, I got stuff to do. Thankfully, the Heidelberg Catechism helpfully answers our question and in a much more eloquent way I could have anyway:

Jesus has been ordained by God the Father and has been anointed with the Holy Spirit to be…

our Chief Prophet and teacher (Acts 3:22; Deuteronomy 18:15) who fully reveals to us the secret counsel and will of God concerning our deliverance;

our only High Priest (Heb. 7:17; Ps. 110:4) who has delivered us by the one sacrifice of his body, and who continually pleads our cause with the Father;

and our Eternal King (Matthew 21:5; Zechariah 9:9) who governs us by his Word and Spirit, and who guards us and keeps us in the freedom he has won for us.

Heidelberg Catechism, Q&A 31

Jesus became a man to reveal God’s truth, reconcile us to God’s affection, and rule us as God’s King, clothed in all beauty and goodness.

May your Christmas be alight with His truth, warmed by His unhindered friendship, and enjoyed with the peace that comes from knowing His rule.

Merry Christmas.

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I Want to Be An Ass

My new motivational poster.

Ever since I became a Christian in high school, I have regularly exchanged my heroes. At first, my heroes were men like David or Hezekiah who, in moments of crisis, courageously risked life and limb so God would be honored above all (1 Sam. 17:46; Is. 37:20). Then, as I grew I became enamored with saints like Ruth (Ruth 1:16-17) or Boaz (Ruth 2:1-16) or Anna

(Luke 2:36-38) who carried on with quiet, daily, and humble submission to God in the daily grind of mundane, routine life. More heroes took my attention as the years have passed on.

However, I think I found a hero that may be here to stay, at least for awhile. Unlike the previous examples, I feel I can possibly live up to the standard this one sets.

Os Guinness explains:

On the desk in front of me as I write is a tiny silver donkey, standing awkwardly with its characteristic big ears. It could hardly be more different from a thoroughbred racehorse or a magnificent charger that could carry a knight of armor into battle. The donkey reminds me of the proper role of the apologist. In the apostle Peter’s sequel to the letter mentioned earlier, he refers back to the book of Numbers when the prophet Balaam, en route to delivering a message that God had not sanctioned, was stopped in his tracks by the donkey he was riding. Peter described Balaam as the man who was sharply rebuked for his offense “when the dumb beast spoke with the human voice and put a stop to the prophet’s madness” (2 Peter 2:16).

Balaam’s ass is the patron saint of apologists. Madness, as we shall see, is an appropriate term for the unreality of unbelief. In order to counter it, we play our part, and we do the best we can. But even when our efforts are serviceable, our role is always humble and all too often inadequate and somewhat ridiculous. Christian advocates who understand their calling should ever be too big for their boots. The task is not about us. It’s all about him, and he may be trusted to do what matters.

(Taken from Fool’s Talk, p. 50)

I still admire David and Hezekiah for their courage in crisis. Ruth and Boaz and Anna still challenge me to strive daily not for stunning greatness, but for consistent faithfulness. However, my new hero, the donkey of Balaam, daily challenges me to be the “dumb beast” who speaks God’s glorious word with my inglorious human voice to challenge the world’s madness so they’d see the wisdom, truth, goodness, and beauty of the God of the world.

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Unconditional Affirmation is Not Love

Last night, at our home group, we opened the Word and discussed this last Sunday’s sermon text on 1 John 4:7-21 which offers a compelling picture of where love comes from, what love looks like, and how we can enjoy and express it. It was dope.

One of the questions we discussed was, “What are the definitions of love we often see in the world?” Of the many good answers, it was an answer from one of my brothers that struck me with peculiar force: “Love is unconditional affirmation.”

I think he was right. There is widespread belief that loving someone means always accepting and embracing whatever they choose to think, feel, or do and that it is always unloving to challenge, confront, or correct. This view of love thinks it should be all sugar and no scalpel.

However, in truth, this is a love that is lazy, selfish, and so unlike the love Christ shows at the cross. Kevin DeYoung describes this well:

Love is so much more difficult than the bumper stickers make it out to be. It requires so much more than a general sentiment of good will. It is so much deeper and better than unconditional affirmation.

What does unconditional affirmation require of you by way of sacrifice? Nothing. All it requires is a wave of the hand–“Whatever you do, I’m fine. However you live, that’s fine.” The problem with unconditional affirmation is not that it is too lavishly loving, but that it is not nearly loving enough. When God tells us to love our brothers he means more than saying, “I’m okay. You’re okay. Whatever you do is fine and I don’t judge.” To really love your brother is to lay down your life for him. It requires you to die to yourself, which may mean a sacrifice of your time, a sacrifice of your reputation, and a sacrifice of your comfort. Unconditional affirmation only asks that you sacrifice your principles.

Love is harder than we think. Of course we love our kids and grandkids and those who treat us well. We love nice people. But Jesus says even the pagans do this. That’s not hard. People love people who love them. But will we keep on loving when it means bearing burdens we would rather not be bothered with? Will we love when the people we love do not love us in return? Will we lay down our lives for those who are unlovely, undeserving, ungrateful?

Isn’t that what Christ did for us? When we were unlovely and undeserving and ungrateful, Christ died for us. He loved us not because we were holy, but so that we might be holy. His love was self-sacrificing, sin-atoning, and life-transforming.

He loves us with a love that the world does not understand. And it is so much better than unconditional affirmation.

Christians are products of a love that isn’t unconditional affirmation, but selfless confrontation. The love of Jesus is one that compelled Him to be our sacrifice, but also to convict us of our sin in the deepest place of our heart. His is a love that would not affirm us, but interfered with us. For that reason, His people will sing His eternal praise.

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