A Pilgrim's Friend

In my reading, I’ve been on a Stoic kick. Right now, I am sitting at Epictetus’ feet and getting worked over in the best of ways. It hurts so good.

In my reading today, as Epictetus is lovingly railing against his students for not practicing the things they say they believe, he calls them to the floor with an fatherly exhortation that I will not soon forget.

Before I share the quote, I’ve a qualifier. Since Epictetus was a kind of pantheist, I’ve made a few slight modifications (noted by parenthesis) that aren’t in the original because I want to better appropriate this wisdom for myself as a Christian and my brothers and sisters who may read this.

Epictetus:

“Listen, as the saying goes, ‘it’s crisis time’: make a last desperate effort to gain freedom and tranquillity – to be (Christian). Lift up your head, like a person finally released from slavery. Dare to face God and say,

‘From now on, use me as you like. I am of one mind with you. Whatever you decide, I will not shrink from it. You may put me where you like, in any role regardless: officer or citizen, rich man or pauper, here or overseas. They are all just so many opportunities to (show your goodness) to man by showing just how little circumstances amount to.’

Therefore, set our own house in order. Cast out of your mind – not (death) or (suffering) – but sorrow, fear, lust, envy, spite, greed, petulance, and over-indulgence. Getting rid of these requires looking to God for help, trusting him alone, and submitting to his direction. If you’re not willing to do this… you will serve someone physically more powerful than you and continue to look outside yourself for happiness, fated never to find it. And that is because you look for it in the wrong place, forgetting to look where it really lies.” (Discourses, 2:16:41, 45)

To say it another way, King Solomon wrote:

“The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.” Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

Happiness will never be found if we hitch ourselves to external things like people’s praise or blame, pleasurable circumstances, money, or whatever else. Happiness can only be found when we look to Christ and genuinely pray from our heart, “From now on, use me as you like. I am of one mind with you. Whatever you decide, I will not shrink from it.”

His way alone gives the permanent, stable, and true happiness we yearn for. Remember Jesus’ words, “These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full” (John 15:11).

God grants life, both physical and spiritual, through His Word, which is gloriously recorded for us in Scripture. Christians, as a people devoted to The Book, prioritize teaching the truth, goodness, and beauty of God’s Incarnate Son as he is revealed in God’s inscripturated Word (Colossians 1:28-29). By explaining with words and validating by our deeds, our aim is to make known God’s life-giving Word for the good of His people and His glory. Despite the importance of preaching and teaching God’s Word, the task isn’t safe. Sin, Satan, and the World are incessantly working against those teaching God’s Word seeking to derail them at every step. Therefore, it’s essential for teachers and preachers to examine their own hearts during preparation for the legion of temptations, fears, disbelief, or sins that lurk in our study. As Paul said, saving ourselves and our hearers requires close scrutiny of both our doctrine and lives (2 Timothy 4:16).

To that end, my teaching friend, here is a short list of questions intended to guide your own self-examination in light of God’s Word.

Questions to Examine Your Heart Before Preaching

You’ll likely only read this list, and I hope it helps as you do, but I’d encourage you, if you find these questions helpful, to grab a piece of paper or your journal (free advice, you should definitely make a habit of journaling) and write the questions by hand and record your answers by hand directly under them. Take your time and don’t think you have to do this all at once. In fact, it may be good to take one question for each sitting and then take a break.

Examine Your Sermon: What Are You Preaching? Although our task is simple – read, explain, and apply God’s Word – our sermons can easily end up preaching something else such as our opinions, our hobby-horses, our favorite punching bags, our traditions, our experiences, our favorite cliches, culturally accepted slogans, vague theological niceties (e.g. God’s unconditional love, prayer changes things, bold faith). As you think about your sermon preparation thus far and look at what you have, are you confident that you are saying nothing more than what the text says or implies or is something else being preached in your sermon?

Examine Your Motives: Why Are You Preaching? Ministers of the gospel are to love God with a pure heart (Hebrews 10:22) and serve God’s people with a pure heart (1 Peter 1:22). Our preaching of God’s Word is to be motivated by God’s love (2 Cor. 5:14-15). However, there are often other hidden motives our heart nurtures as we prepare to preach such as pride, fear, guilt, covetousness of reputation, honor, money, or respect, making yourself feel righteous or fulfilled. Make a list of the various impure or sinful motives you think may be fueling your preparation.

Examine Your Goal(s): What Are You Seeking? The goal of every preacher should be to teach God’s Word faithfully, plainly, and practically (2 Tim. 4:1-5) so God’s people would fix their eyes on Jesus (Col. 1:28-29) and be transformed by the Spirit’s power (2 Cor. 3:18) that God may be trusted, obeyed, and honored above all else (1 Cor. 10:31). But, to our shame, other goals are often sought. What sinful goals are you tempted to achieve through your sermon. Are your goals Godward or Manward – to be praised, respected, liked, esteemed, accepted by people? Are you seeking to fulfill your responsibilities or achieve some earthly end like money, career opportunities, speaking invitations? Search your heart and expose whatever lurks there.

Examine Your Trust: What Are You Trusting? As Paul recalled his preaching ministry to the Corinthians as he sought to plant a church there, he said this:

“When I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. ² For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. ³ And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, ⁴ and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power…” 1 Corinthians 2:1-4

For Paul, his trust was in the power of the Spirit to transforms the hearts and minds of his hearers as he preached “Christ crucified,” a message he knew would be scoffed at and rejected by most of them (1 Cor. 1:21-25), but he trusted would save those who heard. Paul believed that the Word of God alone would accomplish the work of God and he didn’t trust in wisdom, eloquence, humor, emotional stories, plagiarized sections of his sermon taken from popular preachers, PowerPoints, musicians, or fog machines. As you prepare to preach God’s Son from God’s Word, do you find yourself trusting in something other than or in addition to God’s Spirit to do God’s Work? What else do you find yourself leaning on to make this sermon “work?” Where do you trust the power of your preaching will come from?

The heart is the well-spring of all we think, say, and do (Prov. 4:23). Therefore, it’s essential to guard it. But, we can only do that when we’ve successfully examined our heart with the help of God’s Spirit in the light of God’s Word.

Praise is not something we have to do, but something we – that is, religious and irreligious, theists and atheists – want to do. It brings us joy to express our pleasure in good, true, and beautiful things.

C.S Lewis explains it well:

“But the most obvious fact about praise — whether of God or anything — strangely escaped me. I thought of it in terms of compliment, approval, or the giving of honour. I had never noticed that all enjoyment spontaneously overflows into praise unless . . . shyness or the fear of boring others is deliberately brought in to check it.

The world rings with praise — lovers praising their mistresses [Romeo praising Juliet and vice versa], readers their favourite poet, walkers praising the countryside, players praising their favourite game — praise of weather, wines, dishes, actors, motors, horses, colleges, countries, historical personages, children, flowers, mountains, rare stamps, rare beetles, even sometimes politicians or scholars. . . . Except where intolerably adverse circumstances interfere, praise almost seems to be inner health made audible. . . . I had not noticed either that just as men spontaneously praise whatever they value, so they spontaneously urge us to join them in praising it: “Isn’t she lovely? Wasn’t it glorious? Don’t you think that magnificent?” The Psalmists in telling everyone to praise God are doing what all men do when they speak of what they care about.

My whole, more general, difficulty about the praise of God depended on my absurdly denying to us, as regards the supremely Valuable, what we delight to do, what indeed we can’t help doing, about everything else we value.

C.S. Lewis (“A Word About Praising”, Reflections on the Psalms, p. 90–98, 1958 edition.)

So, dear reader, the question is not, will you praise, but what are you praising? Make sure to send that question higher up the ladder to ask, “What do I praise more than anything else?” Whatever sits upon that throne is your God. Like Peter Kreeft said, “The opposite of theism isn’t atheism, but idolatry.” We all share the activity of worship, but not the object.

Now, with your god of choice fixed in your mind, ask yourself this, “Does that thing deserve that place or am I settling for a lesser god?” Odds are, if Jesus doesn’t fill that peerless place in your heart, then you are, indeed, settling for infinitely less.

Christians are not different from other folks in that they worship and others don’t. No, the difference is in this: Christians stopped settling for pathetic and impotent gods so they can worship the True God who’s worthy of such adoration.

It isn’t uncommon to think God betrays us when life gets hard. However, those taught by the Word know that hardships are gifts from God for our maturation (James 1:2-3), opportunities to share in Christ’s suffering and grow closer to him (1 Peter 4:12-19), and means of making us more like Jesus (Romans 8:28-29). Suffering is God’s sandpaper used to smooth-out and complete his people; he uses it to hurt us toward growth in goodness. As Watson said, “the worst thing God will ever do to his children is whip them to heaven.”

Another thought about suffering recently came to me: suffering is God honoring us with the chance to demonstrate the wisdom of his Word and the worth of His Name.

We Learn to Practice

The purpose of learning anything is to practice it, grow skilled in it, and have victory through it. Those who’ve learned something see challenges or difficulties as opportunities to practice their principles and test their mettle. They want the challenge!

Epictetus explains:

“When troubles arise, we will know that it’s time to exhibit what we’ve learned.

A student fresh out of school who gets into difficulty is like someone practiced in the solving of syllogisms; if anyone gives him an easy one, he says, ‘Give me a knotty one instead, I want a bit of practice.’ In the same way, athletes don’t like to be paired with pushovers. “He can’t lift me,’ one says, ‘this other guy is better built.’ No, when the crisis comes, we groan and say, I wanted to keep on learning.’ Keep learning what? If you didn’t learn these things in order to demonstrate them in practice, what did you learn them for?“

I suppose there might be some who are sitting here losing patience and thinking, ‘Why don’t I get to face the kind of do challenge he did? I am growing old in a corner, when I could be winning a crown at Olympia! When will I be nominated for a similar trial?

That is the attitude that all of you should adopt. There are gladiators at Rome who get frustrated if they are not called out and matched with an opponent, all the while begging God and their own supervisors to be allowed to do battle one-on-one. None of you here shows anything like the same mettle. Which is why I would like to escape to Rome to see my favorite wrestler in action, how he, at least, puts policy into practice.” (Discourses & Selected Writings, p. 71-72)

For Epictetus, trials are a beautiful opportunity to practice what we’ve learned; to publicize our progress and prowess. Athletes, musicians, and actors who’ve trained hard in their craft are eager, not ungrateful, for the chance to display what they’ve got. Those trained in wisdom and truth ought feel the same.

How Much More Can Christians Adopt This?

Now, Epictetus was a pagan philosopher, but he points out something that Christians have even more reason to believe: in the care of our Good and Sovereign God, our trials are not random, accidental, or necessary evils, but opportunities He gives us to prove to ourselves and the watching world the wisdom of his word and the worth of his Name. Far from cowering from trials, we’ve reason to be eager for such a chance and consider it an honor when he gives it to us.

I think we see this posture when in how the Apostles responded to the hardships God sent their way. For example, after faithfully following and proclaiming Jesus, the Apostles were arrested by Pharisees and Sadducees, interrogated, insulted, and falsely accused of crimes against God. Afterward,

“When (religious leaders) had called in the Apostles, they beat them and charged them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go. Then (the Apostles) left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name.” Acts 4:40-41

Far from complaining, cowering, or cursing God for their sufferings, they rejoiced God counted them worthy to suffer dishonor for His Name. They were musicians who considered themselves blessed to play the King’s song in the theater of fire. Artists commissioned to use all their knowledge and skill to paint the glory of their King. They were wrestlers grateful to be given the chance to show the worth of their Savior and the sufficiency of His grace in the arena of suffering. Coach put them in and they were ecstatic for the difficult match up.

Far from complaining about difficult trials, those schooled in God’s Word and world, will be able to think, “This is what I have been studying for. God has revealed His Word to me so that I may show and sense His goodness in this hardship. I am not betrayed by this difficulty, but honored.” As James said, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds” (James 1:2). God honors his best saints with hardship.

Now, if you are currently in a trial or tragedy, these words feel like boulders on your back when you’re struggling to not drown. Feel free to ignore this for now and go find a friend to cry with and be supported by. Suffering isn’t the time to learn what you don’t know, but lean on the Rock you do know. However, if you’re presently able to consider the words above, now is the time to chew and digest them so you’re better prepared for the trial you may be in or the trials that will inevitably come. To quote Epictetus again, “That is the attitude that all of you should adopt.”

I recently shared rule #2 from what I call, “The Decorum” online and had a lot of encouraging feedback. I thought to share the whole here.

The Decorum serves as a set of norms that I share with my high school Bible and theology students at the beginning of the year. Taking a cue from Israel’s kings, I have them copy it down word-for-word into their notebooks by hand. It is less a list of rules and more a list of theological assumptions (the why) along with their specific applications (the what) to the life of a student and the context of a classroom. My hope is that this establishes the what and the why of our class expectations throughout the school year so the students are not only know what kind of conduct will be expected of them, but why that conduct is true, good, beautiful, and, above all, honoring to the Lord Jesus Christ.

I’ve got loads more to say about it, which I might do later, but I’ll cut to the quick and share it now.

The Decorum Prologue

We are valuable. Our classmates are valuable. Our teacher, yes, even he, is valuable. Our time is precious. Your goal, if it is to learn truth, become good, and love what is beautiful, is invaluable. Therefore, we embrace and uphold these rules together to protect us from hindrance and propel ourselves toward great knowledge, character, wisdom, and maturity.

While we are not required to be devoted Christians to attend Capistrano Valley Christian School, we are reasonably expected to be respectful students. So, we will conduct ourselves according to the following rules of The Decorum.

One – Seek to Become Whole

We are human beings gifted by God with capacities for rationality (we think and speak), emotion (we feel), morality (we do good or evil), and free will (we choose our path). Those abilities exist within us, but they’re not yet fully developed. We are not what we were, but we also are not yet what we could be. Therefore, we seek education to cultivate our whole being – to sharpen our thinking, refine our character, control our emotions wisely, do good, and choose good. We steward God’s gift of education not just for grades, colleges, or better paychecks, but so we may become fully, wisely, and joyfully human.

Two – Worship God By Growing Like Him

Going to school for a grade is called idolatry and grades are a cruel god. They turn school into slavery with nothing but empty tasks to complete. They turn students into lap dogs that only make efforts when offered a treat. They demand all our focus so we never have time or energy to learn or enjoy anything. They breed misery, anxiety, and hatred for school. This doesn’t mean grades are bad, but worshiping them is. Instead, worship the true God who created you and for whom you are created, the God who is revealed in Jesus Christ; the God who doesn’t take, but always gives. Let your grades become the natural by-product of your hard work to learn and grow. School will be more enjoyable, fulfilling, and fruitful if you do.

Three – Steward the Gift of Time Worshipfully

Time is not eternal; only God is eternal. As weird as it sounds, time is a created thing and God graciously gives it to us to love him and others. Because of this, our time in class is a sacred gift set apart from lunch time, play time, or leisure time. It exists to grow our minds and character together so we can better love and reflect God and care for others. Therefore, we honor God’s gift of time by being seated with our materials at the bell and refraining from packing up until permitted or the bell rings.  

Four – Be Kind

Everyone is fighting a hard battle, be kind.

Five – Give Respect to Whom It’s Due

All people – no matter their gender, nationality, GPA, beliefs, skin color, intellect, physical size, abilities, hobbies, favorite sports teams, likeability, social skills, or favorite color – are made in the image of God – they carry his Name. As such, they are to be treated as valuable, that is, respected, in every conceivable way. To the best of our ability, we will not insult, embarrass, disrespect, interrupt, corrupt, or upset our image bearing peers or teacher with our words, body posture, or attitudes. Instead, we will make valiant efforts to love, honor, encourage, support, compliment, smile at, hold accountable, build up, stir up, and lift up our classmates and, yes, even our teacher. We will strive to be a blessing and not a curse.

Six – Take Responsibility or Yourself in Everything

In most situations, you cannot control what others say to you or do to you, but you are always in control of what you do or say. When we all stand before Jesus on the day of judgment, he will not make us answer for our teachers, our classmates, our family members’ lives, but we will answer for our lives and our words, even, or especially, the careless ones (Matthew 12:36). Therefore, we will not follow our father Adam’s sin and blame others for our faults (Genesis 3:11-12). Instead, we will work to take full responsibility for our timeliness, our assignments, our make-up tests/quizzes, our body posture, our reading and responding to emails, our attitude, and our words. We will pay attention first to the logs in our eyes.

Seven – Care About Other’s Perceiving You Correctly

One key lesson that maturity teaches is that we should care not only about our intentions, but others’ perceptions insofar as we can control. For example, in class, if we are genuinely interested in a class discussion, but we are slouched in our chair, turned away from the group, doodling on our hands with your earbuds in and our hoodies tightened around our face as if in a hurricane, no one knows we’re interested, benefits from our interest, or believes we’re interested. Therefore, we will work to ensure that not only our intentions are pure of heart, but that we conduct ourselves in such a way that they will be easily perceived by our classmates and teacher. In doing this, we’ll better learn how to love our neighbors.

Eight – Prepare Yourself to Work Hard to Grow

If we want to become strong, we must make intentional effort and endure the pain that comes with exercising. If we want to make the team, we must make intentional effort to condition, listen well, correct our bad habits, and endure the pain that comes with those things. If we want to build something beautiful with our hands, we need to measure, cut, nail, glue, sand, and paint and experience the difficulties that come with it. If we want to gain knowledge, grow in wisdom, think intelligently, and become people who are effective in the world, then we have to make intentional effort to read deeply, discuss thoughtfully, listen carefully, debate precisely, and articulate ourselves clearly, concisely, and correctly and be willing to endure the inevitable difficulties that come with that effort. Only the living fish make it upstream.

Nine – Be a Truth Teller in Word & Deed

The 9th commandment teaches us to not bear false witness. Put positively, we are to tell the truth. Therefore, in class we’ll strive to tell the truth, with respect, in conversation and papers about what we honestly think or feel instead of uttering empty, false, or plagiarized words to get good grades or the teacher off our backs. We don’t want to practice becoming good liars. We want to be truth tellers like God.

Ten – Act Like the Adult You Wanted to Be Treated As

We are young adults. We are young, but we are also adults. Therefore, we’d like to be treated as adults and not children. Even more, we want to act like adults. We will do our best to address conflicts in patient and honest ways. We will take responsibility for what we do and what we don’t do. We will seek help from our teacher whenever we need it. We will, with the utmost respect and appreciation, ask our mothers to not carry our hardships for us and, instead, learn to solve them ourselves.

If you have kids within the 10 to 18 year old range, you may have heard statements like these concerning corporate worship with your local church:

The sermons are too long/boring/confusing.

The pastor isn’t funny/relevant/engaging.

I can’t sit still for that long.

I don’t like the music.

No one my age is there; it’s only old people.

You’ve likely heard statements like these because kids in church make them all the time. You can relax a little bit, it’s not just your kids.

It’s not uncommon for kids to struggle with corporate worship. The reasons for this can vary. Sometimes there is room for the church to improve in how they disciple kids in their gathering. It is easy for pastors or leaders to ignore the fact that kids are present in the worship gathering. It isn’t unusual for kids to go unmentioned, unspoken to, or all-together ignored in the preparation for and practice of the various elements of the church’s worship service.

Most of the time, however, I think the problem lays within this one reality: our kids are immature, untrained, unformed. Our children are, well, children. They need to be taught, trained, and prepared by their parents if they’re going to derive any benefit from corporate worship. Kids need to be discipled by their parents if they’re going to gain anything from the discipleship of their church. It will be difficult for any kid to benefit from their church’s discipling efforts if their parents’ discipling efforts are weak or non-existent.

So, what exactly can parents do to help their child go from enduring church to enjoying and growing from it?

Teach Them About the Church

What we belief about the church will determine how we relate to the church. If the church is a spiritual grocery store, we need only visit her when we are lacking some spiritual commodity and can ignore her completely if we don’t. If the church is simply a place to get spiritually juiced (i.e. inspired) then we need only participate inasmuch as we need a-juicing. If we can get juiced from Christians Podcasts or YouTube they we need not bother with church at all. Our participation with the local church (or lack thereof) is downstream of our beliefs about the local church. If you want to your kids to participate with the church, you must ensure they understand the truth about the church. Your kids won’t value church unless they learn what it is and why its valuable. They won’t learn unless you teach them.

Teach your kids that the church is God’s family that he’s adopted believers into (Galatians 4:4-7). Help them understand that God saves believers into his family (the church; 1 Corinthians 12:12-13) and that he commands them to love his family (the church) like he does through using their gifts to practically help members of the church follow Jesus and grow up in him (1 Corinthians 12:1-11). Explain that God want to bless and grow our faith and love through the church’s ministry of preaching, teaching, ordinances, singing, fellowship, and pastoral care (Colossians 1:24-28; Ephesians 4:11). Make sure your kids understand Jesus’ love for the local church, our responsibility to the local church, and the blessings God gives us in the local church. In great love, God doesn’t want us to live like spiritual orphans, but to join and enjoy his family, the church.

Once your kids begin to understand the nature, necessity, beauty, and value of the local church, it will begin the important work of changing the way they approach worshiping with her on Sundays.

Train Them to Worship With the Church

Just as someone having a good understanding of marriage doesn’t mean they’re personally ready to have a healthy marriage, so having a good theology of church doesn’t mean someone is equipped to have a healthy relationship with the church. Your kids don’t only need to be taught sound doctrine (1 Timothy 6:1-3), but they need to be trained how to live according to sound doctrine (Titus 2:1). After teaching must come training.

The best kind of training is based on this invitation: “Imitate me.” The best way to help your kids make the most of corporate worship is by watching you do it. Try telling your kid, “Hey, I know church can sometimes be hard for you, but I want you to watch and imitate me to learn how to make the most of church on Sundays.” Tell them to watch how you listen to the sermons (leaning forward, undistracted, writing down notes, nodding along), how you sing lustily and contribute your voice along with the rest of the congregation, how you pray, and how you fellowship with other believers. Then, after they watch you, take some time to talk about what you were doing and why.

Some are uncomfortable to tell other believers, even our children, to imitate us, but we shouldn’t. Paul told the Corinthians, “Imitate me as I imitate Christ” (1 Cor. 11:1) and gave the same command to the Thessalonians (2 Thessalonians 3:7-9). The author of Hebrews says that all believers should imitate the faith of their pastors and leaders (Hebrews 13:7). Yes, you’re not perfect, but you are the most influential figure in your child’s life. If your worship on Sunday morning isn’t worthy of imitation, then it’s time to stop fooling around and repent. But if you give yourself fully to your church family on Sunday, then it’s time to loving look at your kid and say, “Follow my lead as I follow Christ.”

To give you some more to practical counsels to consider on how to actively participate with your church, check this very helpful piece out.

Prepare Them for Worship With the Church

Even if your kids have the right knowledge about the church and good training for how to worship with the church, they still need your regular and consistent help to prepare them to make the most out of corporate worship with the church.

Toward that end, here are some practical tips:

Take care of practical needs before service. Sleep, breakfast, and restroom. Your kids aren’t floating souls, but embodied souls. The state of their body will affect the state of their souls. Help them get enough sleep the night before, enjoy a sufficient breakfast to keep their tummies from rumbling, and guide them to the restroom before service begins so as to avoid a mid-service exit.

Supply your kids with helpful materials. Bible and pen at least. Maybe a notebook? The more your kids can use their eyes and hands along with their ear, the more they’ll take in. Also, writing notes inside their Bibles is a great way to help track with the sermon and stick close to the text.

Read the Scripture passage your pastor will be preaching from together. Assuming your church knows what will be preached beforehand, consider reading the passage Saturday night with the family. Ask them what stick out, what’s confusing, what’s interesting, and what they hope to hear. This will help them have things to listen for in the sermon and give them a better familiarity with the text.

Pray as a family before you leave the house for church. Pray that God would draw close to you as you all draw close to him (James 4:8), that he would teach, rebuke, correct, and train your family and your church family through his word (2 Timothy 3:16). Pray that he would make you ready to fulfill the works he has prepared for you at church (Eph. 2:10). Pray for your pastor, the sermon, the overall worship. Pray!

Work hard to make Sunday morning unhurried and peaceful. Rushed, hectic, or harsh mornings will dramatically affect Sunday worship. Wake up early enough to help serve your family prior to church. Ensure that all the morning’s needs are prepared to be fulfilled in an orderly and peaceful fashion so that you can peacefully get to church 15 minutes early rather than chaotically show up 30 minutes late.

Give your kids specific “missions” to accomplish during and after service. If your kids need a bit more guidance, give them little “missions” for different parts of the gathering. Tell them to write down the main message of the sermon in one sentence. Ask them to come up with a question or two about the text/sermon that you could ask the pastor about afterward. Encourage them to introduce themself to one new person during the greeting time. Come up with concrete, specific goals to accomplish so they’re trained to be actively, instead of passively, involved.

Share how God blessed your heart during worship. After worship, share genuine ways God blesssed you. Maybe a certain song, prayer, text, or part of the sermon affected you. Share it with your family. Savor God’s grace in front of them. This often becomes an invitation for them to do likewise in the future.

I am sure there are loads of other ways you could effectively help prepare your family to make the most of corporate worship. Consider leaving some other ideas in the comments. But, the point is clear: there is great wisdom and love in preparing your family to worship God in Christ with the church.

If your kids are struggling to enjoy or benefit from corporate worship on Sunday morning, avoid blame shifting (the pastor is boring, the youth ministry is ineffective, there isn’t the right program, etc.). Instead, ask yourself this question: “What can I do to teach, train, or prepare my kids to make the most out of corporate worship?” Once you get some answers, onward!

Sometimes we talk so abstractly about “love” that we fail to practice it well in normal life. At least, I know that is true of me.

So, I thought it’d be edifying for me to knock out a few very concrete and practical ways that I can actually love my church family in real life and not just in the sentimental (but ineffective) part of my brain.

Go to Church 95% of the Time

You don’t avoid being with people you love. If a dad avoids his kids, he has a deficient love. If a woman never wants to be with her husband, she has a deficient love. Lack of presence reveals a lack of love.

On the other hand, intentional presence reveals love (you seek to be with people you want to bless) and provides the basic foundation from which we can obey the “one anothers” that God commands us to do. Good luck trying to serve (Gal. 5:13), forgive (Col. 3:13), be patient with (Eph. 4:2), encourage (1 Thess. 5:11), stir up (Heb. 10:24), care for (1 Cor. 12:25), or sing to one another (Eph. 5:29) without being in the same room.

So, love your church family by showing up. Arrange your life so that you only miss church on the rarest of occasions (3%-5% of the year). Otherwise, you’re not loving them well.

Get to Church 15 Minutes Early (Or At Least on Time)

I understand that getting to church on time can be a challenge, but that doesn’t mean we should be OK with it. We won’t likely show up late to movies, restaurant reservations, ball games, concerts, weddings, or other events we deem important or enjoyable. So, why would we become OK with regularly showing up late to worshiping the One we know to be infinitely more valuable than all those things combined.

Even more, though, I’d suggest you love your church by not just showing up to worship on time, but 15 minutes early so you can be a warm face to greet visitors, make them feel welcome, answer any questions they have, and possibly offer to sit with them. Imagine the love visitors would feel when they walk into church 10 minutes before it starts and they were embraced by believers looking out for them and ready to receive them. Pretty powerful, I’d say.

Worship Leaning Forward, Not Leaning Back

The gathered worship of God’s people is not a spectator sport where you watch the pros in action, but a team sport where you, along with everyone present, actively fix your eyes on Christ, sing your praises, pray your prayers, hear His Word, and magnify His name. So, love your church family by actively participating in every part of service: pray sincerely, listen to Scripture reading & the sermon hungrily, and sing lustily. Nod or say your “Amens” to the prayers or preaching. Tattoo your Bible with notes that you want your future self to read. Sing in a way that puts college football fight songs to shame. When you walk into your place of worship, gear up and get ready for the glorious activity of receiving all God has for you.

Stick Around Church (At Least) 15 Minutes After Service

Now, if going to church is only about what you get out of it, then by all means, book it to your car as fast as you can because there likely isn’t anything prepared for you after the service is done. But, if you’re interested in being used by God to build up your brothers and sisters, engage with non-believers or visitors, and find opportunities to bring the light of Christ to whomever God may have prepared for you, then stick around a solid 15 and keep your eyes and heart open.

Develop Friendships in Your Church

Friendship takes time, energy, & intention. What better people to befriend and cultivate deep friendships than the people in your local church family God has brought you to and with whom you are committed to love? Eat dinner with them. Drink wine and beer and coffee and whatever with them. Play board games, go on picnics, compete in sports with them. Building Christ-like friendships with people in your church will not only bless them and you, but it will build your church by weaving hearts together.

Give Lots of Money to Your Church

It is a father’s duty to provide for his family. It is your duty to, according to your means and cheerfulness, provide for your church family. Give generously and consistently to your church. Money keeps the lights on, the rent paid, the pastors/staff cared for so the church can continue to be cared for, taught, equipped, counseled, and loved by them. Be a cheerful giver to your local church. If you don’t, who will?

Respect, Follow, & Obey Your Pastors (and Other Established Leaders)

Assuming they’re leading you according to God’s Word, trust them, follow them, and support them. Don’t fall into the trap of making your functional pastors be those whose YouTube Channels or Podcasts you listen to, but the actual flesh and blood men God has gifted your church with. Podcast sermons are great. Big fan of having access to faithful preaching, but the men you hear through the Interwebs don’t know you, your family, your life, your strengths, or your sins. They can bless you with truth, but they are entirely unable to shepherd you. But, your local pastors can if you let them. So, in your heart, make sure your Podcast preachers are not your functional pastors, but your actual pastors are. Jesus has given them to you for your joy & growth (Ephesians 4:11). Trust them, obey them, see yourself as especially responsible to listen to them and bring joy to them. Remember, Hebrews 13:17 is still in the Bible. Go with the grain of God’s discipleship design.

Now, brothers and sisters, you’ve likely failed to love your church in one or more or all of these ways. That’s important to recognize so you can repent and get back to following the way of Jesus. But, make sure to see your shortcomings and sins in light of the cross. God has atoned for the sins of your lovelessness through Christ. He paid for even these sins. By all means, see them, repent of them, and bury them in the sea of atoning blood so you can, from there, seek to love your church as Christ loves them in the largest and smallest of ways.

So, fulfill the most basic duties of a family member: be present, be intentional, & love with action instead of sentiment.

Have you found your trust in Christ lacking? Have there been times where you have experienced a loss of love, affection, trust, adoration, and devotion to King Jesus? Does your faith sometimes hobble along, barely able to make any progress or effect much good in your life? Is that where you’re at right now?

You may have been, or are now, sick with unbelief.

What is one to do when such seasons come upon them? What’s the solution for this problem? Where is the help for this weakness? What is the medicine for this sickness?

Petrus Van Masticht (Theoretical-Practical Theology: Faith in the Triune God, Volume 2, p. 24-27) offers six remedies for the sickness of unbelief.

“(These are) the remedies of unbelief that must be applied by the spiritual physician and received by the patient. These are namely…”

(1) Recognize Your Sick With Unbelief

You’ll never seek help for problems you don’t believe you have. You’ll never visit the doctor if you’re convinced you’re not sick. “Know the nature of unbelief” and “compare yourself with it.” Figure out what the symptoms look like (e.g. ignorance of, disbelief in, distrust of, disobedience to God’s Word or “giving the better portions of your heart, care, and labors to yourself, the world, or sin”) and take a hard look in the mirror. Diagnosis must always precede prognosis.

(2) Think About the Evils of Your Unbelief

Colds won’t concern us too much, but cancer always will. The more grievous the sickness, the more urgent our response. So, to rightly remedy your unbelief, do work to learn about how deadly and evil it is. Unbelief attacks God’s glory (Rom 4:20), harms the believer by making him unfit for godly works (John 15:4) and unable to please God (Heb. 11:6; Rom. 14:23), gives birth to all other sins and vices (Heb. 3:12) like ignorance (2 Cor. 4:4), false security (Matt. 24:38-39), apostasy (Heb. 3:12), and atheism (Eph. 2:12), and causes bodily (Gen. 3), spiritual (2 Kings 7:2, 20), and eternal death (John 3:18, 36). The more you understand the danger of unbelief, the more you’ll care to find a cure.

(3) Investigate the Cause(s) of Your Unbelief

Whenever you get sick, you’ll often ask, “Where did I get this from?” You should do the same with spiritual sickness of unbelief. Does my unbelief come from ignorance of God’s promises or commands? Foolish living? Love for worldly riches? Fear of worldly loss, threats, or dangers? Neglect of God’s means of grace such as the Scriptures, prayer, fellowship, pastoral care, or obedience to his ways? If you don’t find the cause, you’re liable to stay sick and get sicker.

(4) Wait Upon God to Remove Your Unbelief

When we’re seriously sick we lack the ability to heal ourselves. The same is true with the sickness of unbelief. Ultimately, we lack the knowledge and strength to heal ourselves so we must learn to patiently wait upon the grace of God while we earnestly give ourselves to his proscribed remedies. So, don’t expect you can change your unbelief overnight by sheer willpower or an onslaught of new resolutions, but determine that God alone can heal you and your job is to follow His Word and wait for Him to do His work. Throw yourself earnestly, as if your life depended on it, to hear and read His Word (John 5:25; Ezekiel 37:4), pray for His ears (Ps. 51:10), live among His people (Heb. 10:25). Say out loud, “I can’t help myself, but God will as I diligently upon my mouth to receive His medicines.”

(5) Don’t Fight Against Or Ignore God’s Help for Your Unbelief

Many patients sometimes disagree with their doctors orders and foolishly think they can do better. Sometimes, human doctors can mess things up, but our Heavenly Doctor won’t. Determine in your heart to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5). Don’t fight against His Word. Don’t keep yourself from His people or His pastors (Heb. 13:17). Don’t doubt His counsel and don’t listen to other quacks who diagnose different problems or proscribe different remedies. Remember, beloved, we are idiots and our very joy depends on how much we give ourselves to the Good Doctor. Don’t fight Him. Listen to Him and wait for His way to be proved right as you go His way.

(6) Use the Many Medicines God Offers for Your Unbelief

Throw yourself into what He’s prescribed for you. Determine to hydrate yourself in the waters of His Word (Psalm 1:1-3), feast upon His food (Matthew 4:4), stay under the care of His nurses (Hebrews 13:17), take advantage of His ears (Matt. 7:7), fortify your faith by talking with His other patients who’ve enjoyed His care (Heb 3:12-13), study His success cases (Psalm 111:2) sing of His character and works with His people (Psalm 149:1). God has storehouses filled with food for the hungry, water for the thirsty, and medicine for the sick and He commands you to plunder it and take all you can handle until your full. And then, take more when you’re able. The more we receive the riches of His grace through the means He’s given us, the more His generosity, mercy, kindness, and wealth will be known. He is most glorified when we, through our neediness, prove to the world that there is no rich or gracious like our God.

God created and saved you to be healthy, holy, and happy by His grace as you behold His glory. He isn’t out to kill your joy, but kill the things that do. So, whenever you find unbelief gaining ground in your heart, do everything you can in His strength to follow the light of His Word, fix your eyes on His Son, and be daily filled by His Spirit alongside His people to know, taste, and rejoice in His goodness.

Adopt a heart that genuinely prays, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief” (Mark 9:24) and put it to practice. Then, marvel at his faithfulness to heal you.

It seems almost everybody like Jesus. He honored in pop culture, revered in every major religion in the world, and honored even among the most irreverent. You’ll be hard pressed to find people who don’t like Jesus or see him positively in some light.

However, Christians go beyond liking, respecting, or honoring him. We worship Him. It’s good to ask, why?

The letter to the Hebrews gives four clear answers that supremely important question, “Why do Christians worship Jesus?”

We Worship Jesus Because He Reveals God.

“Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son” (Heb. 1:1-2a).

The God of the Bible is a talker. From Genesis 1 to the very end, God is always speaking to his people. In the Old Testament, God’s normal way of speaking was through his anointed and authorized messengers, the prophets. But, in these last days of God’s saving work, he has spoken perfectly and finally “by his Son.” The prophets of the Old Testament all pointed forward to the one final Prophet who would give us God’s final Word because He is God’s final word. That is, in all the Bible, God says everything he wants to say through the person (who Jesus is) and work (what Jesus did) of His Son.

If you want to know what God is like, what God desires, and what God is doing and will do in the world, then “fix your eyes on Jesus” (Heb. 12:1-2). Jesus is the one-stop-shop of everything God wants you to know about everything.

He has spoken by His Son and nothing and no one outside of Jesus as He’s revealed in the Scriptures is ultimately needed.

We Worship Jesus Because He Is God.

“He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power.” (Heb. 1:2).

How can we lay such a burden upon a mere man? We couldn’t. No mere man is capable of revealing all that God has to say. In many ways, even the best of men fail to reveal or reflect the character and plan of God. But, Jesus is no mere man. He is the eternal God in human flesh. Everything God is, Jesus is. He is true God of true God. Just like you can’t separate radiant heat from the sun’s fire, you cannot separate Jesus from the nature of God. Just as the mold that presses the same picture on every coin is forms, so Jesus perfectly represents the exact character of God. If you want to know what God is exactly like, look at Jesus because He is exactly God.

We worship Jesus because He is the one true God worthy of our worship. God has not just spoken to us. Nor has God just saved us. But God speaks to us and saves us because He has come to us in Jesus Christ.

We Worship Jesus Because He Reconciles Us to God.

“After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high” (Heb 1:3).

All people know that we’re deeply broken and in need of salvation. Though many are confused about what exactly is broken within us, the Scriptures are clear that, at the heart, all of our greatest maladies have their sole root in sin; our intentional breaking of or weak inability to uphold God’s beautiful Law. We are criminals against the one true God by doing what we should not do or failing to do what we should.

However, though we are unable in our own strength to pay for our crimes or make up for them by perfectly obeying God from this point forward, the good news of the Bible is that God has done for us what we cannot do for ourselves. Jesus has made purification for all our sins by his substitutionary death on the cross. The work we couldn’t even begin to do, Jesus finished at the cross (John 19:28-30). So perfect was his saving work that, after he rose from the dead and ascended to heaven, he “sat down” (Heb. 1:3), showing that his work was complete and there was nothing left for us to do about our sins other than receive his gift of salvation by trusting He buried them and left them buried.

We worship Jesus because He did for us what we cannot do for ourselves. He bridged the infinite chasm that separated us from God and now, in Him, we have access to God and the freedom to approach his throne boldly knowing that we’re accepted by God because “Jesus paid it all” (Hebrews 10:19-25).

We Worship Jesus Because He Rules As God.

“(Jesus) sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, having become as much superior to angels as the name he has inherited is more excellent than theirs.” (Heb. 1:3b-4).

Jesus’ saving work didn’t end there, but now, as the risen Savior, Jesus sits enthroned to rule over us as the eternal God-Man. Everyday, we Christians look to our Enthroned King to provide what we need, to protect us from every danger, and to empower us to live for him until He takes us home or until He brings home to back to us. We don’t worship a dead Savior, but a Savior who lives and rules daily from His peerless throne.

We worship Jesus because He is the King all our hearts yearn for. He is the King mighty enough to vanquish our greatest enemies. He is the King rich enough to supply us our every need. He is the King loving enough to ceaselessly work for our increasing joy. We worship Jesus because He rules as no man ever has or ever can. He alone is the ruler who perfectly uses his power not to crush us, but lift us up.

Everyone like Jesus. Every religion respects him. Almost everybody honors Him in some way. But, one of the ways Christians are weird is that we worship Him because we believe, by the testimony of Scripture, that He is the eternal God whose come to earth to be our perfect revealing Prophet, reconciling Priest, and ruling King forever.

There really ain’t no one like Him, so we think that worship is the only proper response.

One of the most deadly mistakes we can make is to confuse the fruit for the root & therefore chase after the good effects of a thing instead of the good thing itself.

In education, this is focusing on our kids good grades instead of growth of mind, character, & skill. (Honestly, your dooming your child to intellectual slavery if all you care about is their grade. It is shameful.)

In the church, this is chasing after nickels & noses (i.e. giving & attendance) rather than evangelism & discipleship unto Christ-likeness.

In worship, this is wanting peace, contentment, joy, & deliverance from judgment rather than knowing Christ & making him known.

When the fruit (result) is focused upon then shortcuts are inevitably taken, the “results” become artificial and, therefore, empty.

Chase the root & trust the fruit will be born naturally from it.