By design, men are to inclined to be strong, ambitious, and protective. Scripture honors and exhorts men to cultivate these traits. Yet, as the adage goes, our greatest strengths overplayed become our greatest weaknesses. Therefore, Scripture warns men of temptations and pitfalls that aren’t exclusive to them, but are particularly tied to their unique design.

In Titus 2:2 and 6, Paul addresses six traits that he seems to think men need special care to cultivate.

Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Titus 2:2

By reverse engineering, I think we’re supplied a good starting point to answer the question, “What sins are men particularly prone to?” What are the sins that can subtly hinder or destroy a man if left unchecked or unattended?

1. Overindulgence (As Opposed to Sober-Mindedness)

Men are prone to overdoing just about anything that excites them. One or two beers is just a warm-up. Their desire for success at work can easily make them sacrifice their time, their kids, and even their marriages. Once a hobby grabs their attention (e.g. golf, sports, etc.) they give it the best of their time, energy, and attention; their primary responsibilities get the leftovers. Overindulgence isn’t about enjoying bad things, but enjoying good things in a way that hinders their ability to fulfill their most important duties well. For many men, when it comes to their enjoyments, it’s all or nothing.

So Paul commands, “Older men are to be sober-minded…” Sober-mindedness isn’t exclusively about alcohol, but about moderation in all areas of life. It is good for men to deeply enjoy the gifts God has given them, but they must ensure they’re enjoyed in the right order compared to their primary responsibilities. They must be sober-minded in their enjoyments.

Men, how is your life ordered? If we represented your thinkings and doings on a pie chart, what would the ratios be? Are you allowing your desires to order your mind (overindulgent)? Or are you ensuring your mind orders your life (sober-minded)? Make sure what is good is determining how you enjoy life, not what feels good.

2. Triviality (As Opposed to Seriousness)

The sitcoms I grew up with often portrayed the dad as the unserious dunce who needed his wife’s wisdom and leadership to help him to pay attention to more important matters of their life. Without her, he’d waste his time on football, pizza, and beer and the kids would barely survive.

Where’d they get the idea for men like Homer Simpson, Ray Barone, or Michael Bluth? Likely from experience. At our worst, men fixate on unimportant things. Being inclined to doing, men easily neglect thinking. As visual creatures, men have little time for important matters that aren’t urgent or right in front of them. Fixers love to think about the urgent, trivial problem right in front of them and not so much the non-unurgent, important issues that lie just under the surface. They’ll tell their wife how to fix her problems with the kids, but never consider, “How is my wife doing spiritually?” or “Is my marriage healthy?” Life’s biggest questions about meaning, purpose, value, God, heaven, hell, or death are eclipsed by the state of the stock market, the score of the game, or the thrill of potentially winning the poker game. Unchecked, men often invest their lives into things that offer no lasting return.

Therefore, “Older men are to be…dignified…” (or serious or grave). That is, men must decide to be serious about the life they’re living and pursue things that actually matter. Dignified, they ought to reflect, “Do I care deeply about ultimately worthless things?” or “Am I an unserious man chasing unserious things?” This doesn’t mean men should be gloomy, but choosy about what they deem most important because their lives will follow suit. Remember: play dumb games, get dumb prizes.

3. Unruliness (As Opposed to Self-Control)

This is connected with overindulgence, but instead of focusing on balance, unruliness focuses on control. Though men are not often as emotionally expressive as women, they are no less affected by their emotions or desires. Men feel things strongly and, without the grace of God, will allow their desires to drive the ship of their life. An angry man will say or do things he later regrets. If a man feels discouraged or exhausted from work, he may return home physically, but allow his feelings to justify his emotional or relational absence. When embarrassed, men will distance themselves from the issue or the person they feel is the cause. When the kids do something annoying or dumb, he will respond not with wisdom for their good, but with crankiness from their irritation. When another woman is being nice to them and looking good or the internet offers glimpses of things that should remain unseen, dumb decisions born of powerful desires are made. Instead of ruling their desires, many men allow their desires to rule them. Their feelings, not their minds, call the shots.

Instead, Paul gives the same instruction to both older and younger men: “be self-controlled” (Titus 2:2, 6). You would never hand over the keys to your sports car to your impulsive 16-year-old. Why would you hand over the keys of your life to the desire you’re feeling in the moment? You cannot control the feelings or emotions that rush on you at any given moment, but you can control how you respond to them. When you feel things, will you consent to their invitation or condemn them and choose another path? Your life—your words, actions, choices, and goals—is important. Make sure you are in control of it.

4. Spiritual Immaturity (As Opposed to Mature)

So far we’ve seen men are prone to overindulgence, triviality, and unruliness. Those traits often result in men being uninterested to grow in Christ-likeness and knowledge of Scripture. This is obviously true of non-believers, but just as much a problem with believing men. As a pastor, it isn’t an uncommon experience for me to meet men who’ve been Christians for decades with little to no knowledge of the faith they confess. They can only express Christian beliefs with thoughtless Christian cliches, bumper sticker phrases, or even mild-heresy. Because of this, in believing families, it is often the woman who takes the faith seriously enough to get the family to church, read the Bible, study theology, or talk about spiritual matters at home while the husbands follow their lead, lagging way behind. Since their attention and energies are often spent elsewhere, many men are successful in earthly achievements while remaining spiritual infants stuck in Christian kindergarten.

So Paul says, men “men are to be…sound in faith.” It is good for men to recognize this aversion to spiritual maturity and growth and decide to level up. As the head of the home, men are to be little pastors of their families who teach, shepherd, and lead their wives and children in the faith. Matthew Henry offers a stirring description of the kind of men needed in the home and at church:

Men who are sincere and steadfast, constantly adhering to the truth of the gospel. Men not fond of novelties or ready to run into corrupt opinions or parties…Those who are full of years should be full of grace and goodness, the inner man renewing more and more as the outer decays.

To fulfill this mighty duty and become this kind of a man, men must study Scripture, learn from sound preaching, befriend men who can teach them and help them grow in maturity, and put in the work to grow as Christians. Because men are created by God to be the protectors, providers, and leaders of their homes and churches they must put on their big boy pants, graduate from Christian kindergarten, and work hard to become men, “sound in faith.”

5. Indifference (As Opposed to Love)

Biblically, love is intentionally acting for the good of another. Where our culture teaches that love is primarily a feeling, Scripture consistently shows that love is an action. After all, John 3:16 does not say, “For God so loved the world that he felt,” but rather, “that he gave his one and only Son.” It is here we see another pit men can easily drift into: indifference to the good of others.

Because of a man’s capacity for laser-focus on the issues immediately in front of him or the obedience to his own hungers and desires, it can be easy to overlook the needs of the people around him. Of course, even the most pagan man will often care about the general well-being of his family and friends and likely rush to aid in crises. Yet consistent, attentive, intentional, and sacrificial care for the moral, spiritual, and emotional well-being of others can be neglected, crowded out by the demands of work, personal urges, or the pressing urgencies of daily life.

So men must “sound in…love.” They must work to correct their disordered and unruly love for silly things with a correctly ordered and self-controlled love; first for God and from there, for family and neighbor (Matthew 22:37-40). Instead of living life by the standard of self-love, men must decide to be fountains and not drains.

6. Impatience (As Opposed to Patient)

It is not uncommon to hear of or experience impatient men. They pass you on the freeway with an angry glare if you slow them down. Children often walk on eggshells at home in order to avoid the wrath of dad. Husbands grow weary of listening to their wives’ problems and try to end the conversation quickly by offering a fast fix. The older men become, the more prone they are to peevishness, fretfulness, and a shrinking appetite for anything they find uninteresting, unpleasing, or uncomfortable.

Men must be “sound in patience.” They can pursue this by remembering two things. First, life revolves around Jesus, not them. God does not order the world to suit their wants, but his plan. Those who keep this in mind do not ask, “Why me, God?” but instead, “What now, God?” Second, men must remember they are not in control of what happens to them, only how they respond. We can influence our kids’ attitudes, our wives’ needs, or other external circumstances, but we cannot control them. Once a man accepts that he cannot command his circumstances but can command his responses, he finally finds the ground where patience can grow.

These six sins aren’t meant to discourage you, but warn you and set you on the right path. Men need vigilance, self-reflection, and dependence on God to avoid these traps and grow into their counterparts. The good news is that these pitfalls can be overcome by God’s grace in the Word and the church’s fellowship.

Seek and you will find.