Kevin DeYoung recently posted ten questions he thought every married person could ask to assess the health of their marriage.

They are money.

Read and heed:

1. Do you pray together?

2. Do you still notice each other?

3. Do you ever hold hands?

4. When is the last time you said “I’m sorry”?

5. When is the last time you said, “Thank you”?

6. When is the last time you planned a surprise?

7. When is the last time you embarrassed the kids together?

8. When is the last time you went out and talked about something other than the kids?

9. What would others think about your spouse just by listening to you speak about him or her?

10. Do you think more about what you aren’t giving or about what you aren’t getting?

His comment on the last question is worth posting in full:

We all get hurt in marriage. We all get disappointed. Stick with someone until death and you are bound to be wronged a time or two. But as you think about what needs help in your marriage, are you fixated on your spouse’s deficiencies or your room for improvement? To love like Christ is to commit to loving well even when we are not loved as we deserve.

Read the whole post (with his comments for each question) here.