Those who follow Jesus want to become like him. They want to think like him so they learn. They cultivate their affections to love what he loves and hate what he hates. Their hearts don’t direct their choices; they follow his commands. Jesus has come to save us from sins and slowly make us like himself – day by day, degree by degree – and Christians want nothing more.

“Make me like yourself, Lord” is our heart’s guiding prayer.

How does Jesus answer that prayer? Among the many ways, one is underestimated: become a member of a local church and stay put, especially when it hurts.

In his book, When the Church Was a Family: Recapturing Jesus’ Vision for Authentic Christian Community, Joseph H. Hellerman explains:

Spiritual formation occurs primarily in the context of community. People who remain connected with their brothers and sisters in the local church almost invariably grow in self-understanding, and they mature in their ability to relate in healthy ways to God and to their fellow human beings. This is especially the case for those courageous Christians who stick it out through the often messy process of interpersonal discord and conflict resolution. Long-term interpersonal relationships are the crucible of genuine progress in the Christian life. People who stay also grow.

People who leave do not grow. We all know people who are consumed with spiritual wanderlust. But we never get to know them very well because they cannot seem to stay put. They move along from church to church, ever searching for a congregation that will better satisfy their felt needs. Like trees repeatedly transplanted from soil to soil, these spiritual nomads fail to put down roots and seldom experience lasting and fruitful growth in their Christian lives.

It hits, doesn’t it? It reminds us that following Jesus is not a solitary endeavor but one deeply rooted in the soil of the church. Just as a tree needs the right soil to flourish, our faith requires the fertile ground of long-term relationships through thick and thin within the church.

Long-term church life grow us. Being sinned against is an opportunity to practice the difficult work of Christ-likeness forgiveness. Annoying people push us to grow skilled in patience. Not having our preferences met in music style, song choice, leadership decisions, or sermon length are reminders that the church doesn’t revolve around our tastes. Needy people offer us countless opportunities to love them like Jesus does. Jesus saves us into the church and sanctifies us through the church, the pleasing and painful parts. Becoming like Jesus is a church-shaped process.

Isn’t it ironic that in our quest to become like Jesus, we sometimes become like nomads. We uproot ourselves the moment church gets hard to search for something better, not realizing that our constant church-hopping or seasons of isolation stunts the very growth we seek. For sure, there are necessary times to leave a church, but when we leave a church because of solvable difficulties, we deny ourselves the chance to grow like Jesus. Perhaps it’s time to consider the wise and holy labor of staying put in your church, knowing the hardships that make you want to leave are the very reasons you should stay.

If you’re feeling the pull to wander, maybe this is your sign to pause, plant yourself more deeply, and pray the Lord will grow you where you’re planted. Doesn’t nature itself show us, the mightiest oak was once a little nut that simply stayed where it was.