Life is full of hardships. Spouses hurt us. Children frustrate and overwhelm us. Our bosses sometimes demand much and offer little. Our churches are imperfect. Exercising and eating well is not always enjoyable. Our own sin daily wars against us. Life is hard.

Our normal response is to complain or do all we can to ignore, avoid, and get rid of the hard things. Why would anyone do otherwise? But, what if we stopped seeing hardships as obstacles to avoid and saw them as they are: gifts from God to grow us? James teaches us:

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces… that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (James 1:2-4).

Difficulties, and the pain we feel from them, are God’s sand paper that shapes us more into His image. The hard things we face daily—whether they test our patience, self-control, love, or courage—aren’t things to go around, but opportunities to grow through. Hard things aren’t God’s curses, they’re His gifts.

If you trust God enough to adopt this mindset, you’re life will never be the same.

How to Receive God’s Gift of Hard

Consider this: choosing to tackle the “good hard things” every day can make them easier over time. As we practice, we build skills and grow in virtues that actually make us more like Jesus. Let’s make it concrete:

If you’re working on self-control, try practicing the hard work of denying yourself the indulgences you crave and instead choose what you need. You might stumble often—failure is part of the process—but with each act of self-control in small ways, you’ll notice real growth over time and be able to exercise it in other more significant areas.

Patience is another virtue that requires daily, even hourly, practice. If you’re a parent, this might mean staying calm as you discipline and respond to your screaming children instead of reacting in frustration and shrieking back at them. It’s not easy, and you’ll likely fail more than you succeed at first, but persistence will cultivate a deeper sense of peace and understanding.

The skill of Christ-like love, too, grows in us only through sacrificial, difficult action. Instead of focusing on what’s in it for you, practice doing good for others each day. It could be a small act of kindness or a significant sacrifice—either way, the consistent effort will strengthen your capacity to love selflessly.

Similarly, grace can become second nature if you choose to extend forgiveness to those who’ve hurt you and shown remorse, rather than holding them to an impossible standard that you yourself can’t even live up to.

Courage isn’t reserved for grand gestures; it’s built in our character only through daily acts of bravery necessitated through hard times. Face the scary but good thing—whether it’s saying the needed thing to your friend or stepping out of your comfort zone to serve your church or finally having that needed conversation with your spouse—and let fear take a backseat. Over time, this practice will put steel into your spine and make you more confident in facing life’s bigger challenges that will inevitably come.

Justice, too, requires consistent effort. Practice holding everyone to the same standard, resisting the urge to bend the rules for those who are loud, influential, or intimidating. This commitment to fairness, even when it’s difficult, will help you build a life of integrity.

The hard things we encounter aren’t punishments—they’re opportunities. God gives us these challenges to refine us, to make us better. The question is: are you receiving this gift of hard or rejecting it?

Growth isn’t instantaneous, and failure is inevitable. But with daily, hourly work of facing the hard things in Christ-like ways, you’ll find the virtues you seek growing steadily within you: self-control, patience, love, grace, courage, and justice. You’ll stumble. You’ll falter. You’ll grow. As you grow, you’ll discover the rich life of being like Jesus.