In my personal worship time with the Lord I am making my way through 2 Samuel and I came upon a section that stirred some thoughts about home life.

In 2 Samuel 6:1-19, King David attempts to bring the Ark to Jerusalem, but it ends disastrously by Uzzah’s death for touching it (2 Sam. 6:1-9). After pausing the move and seeing God’s desire to lavishly bless his people if they only seek him rightly (2 Sam. 6:10-15) , David brings the Ark to Jerusalem with extraordinary reverence and celebration (2 Sam. 6:16-19).

After the celebration, David comes home. Sadly, his happiness in the Lord is confronted by the bitterness of his wife, Michal:

“And David returned to bless his household. But Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David and said, ‘How the king of Israel honored himself today, uncovering himself today before the eyes of his servants’ female servants, as one of the vulgar fellows shamelessly uncovers himself!’”

His people celebrated him. His wife condemned him. For David, home was not where the heart was, it was where the heat was.

Some Reflections on Home Life

Here are a few reflections, in no particular order and linked by no other theme than life at home.

It Is Good to Worship at Church and Home

“David returned to bless his household.” 2 Samuel 6:20

David intended that worship wouldn’t stop at church, but continue at home. After he blessed his second sheep, he went home to minister to his first sheep. He desired his home to be a little church where God would not be assumed, but admired.

It Is Good for Men to Bless Their Households

“David returned to bless his household.” 2 Samuel 6:20

Lots of men err in thinking home only as a place where they’re blessed, but not a place where they’re to bless (2 Sam. 6:20). Not David (at least in this instance!). He didn’t want to be a drain, but a fountain to his family; not a taker, but a giver. He came home to infuse the joy of the Lord into the heart of his home. He came home to make happy sheep.

Good Men Worship by Example

In worship, David was, “David leaping and dancing before the Lord” 2 Samuel 6:16.

He didn’t merely command devotion with his words, he exemplified it in his worship. Forgive me the crass phrase, but David smoked what he sold.

This is relevant for all, but especially for men: at home, what you celebrate will always eclipse what you articulate. One of the best ways to lead your families in the Lord is by enjoying the Lord in front of them. Our passions preach loudest.

Good Wives Bless Their Husbands

“But Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David and said, ‘How the king of Israel honored himself today.'” 2 Samuel 6:20

Michal is just the worst here. David makes his way home abounding in joy, absolutely on fire for the Lord, ready to bless his house and she meets him with a cold bucket of water. She doesn’t even wait, but she comes out of the house to catch him (2 Sam. 6:20). In modern terms, she sends a flurry of disgruntled and mean text messages.

What a powerful counterexample of what a “Helper” (Gen. 2:15) should be! Wives, do you double your husband’s joy in the Lord or half it? Are you a blessing like Ruth or a curse like Job’s wife (Job 2:9)? Are you water or gasoline to your husband’s work and worship?

Spouses Can Sometimes Be Enemies

“She despised him in her heart.” 2 Samuel 6:16

Not even King David could avoid problems at home. Unfortunately, Michal took after her father Saul and not after her brother Jonathan. She wasn’t a helper, she was just plain hostile. David isn’t alone in this experience. Socrates once said, “Other men find it hard to put up with the neighing of horses, the roaring of lions, and the bawling of pigs. But I have learned to endure all these. There is only one creature that I cannot master—my wife.”

Having a ring on your finger doesn’t mean you’re a blessing in your home. In your words, habits, and deeds, are you friend or foe to your spouse? Making a vow to “love and cherish” is different than keeping it.

Empty Hearts Recoil from Expressive Worship

“Michal the daughter of Saul looked out of the window and saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, and she despised him in her heart.” 2 Samuel 6:16

Matthew Henry nails this one, “Michal was not displeased at his generosity to the people, nor did she grudge the entertainment he gave them; but she thought (David) degraded himself too much in dancing before the ark. It was not her covetousness, but her pride, that made her fret.” And then the zinger, “The exercises of religion appear embarrassing in the eyes of those that have little or no religion themselves.” Haters gonna hate.

Our Joy in God Must Be Our Guide

“It was before the Lord… and I will celebrate before the Lord.” 2 Samuel 6:21

David is unmoved by her grumbling resentment. In fact, he doubles down. First, he makes it clear to her that worships God and not her (2 Sam. 6:21). God’s pleasure is sweeter to him than the bitterness from her pride. She doesn’t direct his actions, he does. Second, he fears God and not the opinions of others (2 Sam. 6:22). In a word, David would not allow his wife to determine what he did or didn’t do, but God alone. He was directed by his pleasure in God and not her displeasure in him.

A lesson for men, do you fear your wife more than God? Does her displeasure weigh more heavily in your life than God’s pleasure? Are you tossed around by the storm of her desires or the sunlight of his grace?

Sometimes, the fiercest battles aren’t always fought in public but in private. Loving your home in the fear of God, not the fear of man (or spouse), requires courage, conviction, and joy. Whether you’re a husband or wife, don’t be the one who quenches the fire—be the one who fans it.