Things you can’t forget tend to be meaningful.

In the play, “Doubt: A Parable,” Father Brendan Flynn delivers a sermon where he shares a parable on gossip that’s been tattooed on my mind ever since I first came across it.

A woman was gossiping with a friend about a man she hardly knew – I know none of you has ever done this – and that night she had a dream.

A great hand appeared over her and pointed down at her. She was immediately seized with an overwhelming sense of guilt.

The next day she went to confession. She got the old parish priest, Father O’Rourke, and she told him the whole thing. “Is gossiping a sin?” she asked the old man. “Was that the Hand of God Almighty pointing a finger down at me? Should I be asking your absolution? Father, tell me, have I done something wrong?”

“Yes!” Father O’Rourke answered her in his strong Irish brogue. “Yes, you ignorant, badly brought-up female! You have borne false witness against your neighbor, you have played fast and loose with his reputation, and you should be heartily ashamed!”

So the woman said she was sorry and asked forgiveness.

“Not so fast!” says O’Rourke. “I want you to go home, take a pillow up on your roof, cut it open with a knife, and return here to me!”

So she went home, took a pillow from the bed, a knife from the drawer, took the fire escape to the roof, and stabbed the pillow. Then she went back to the old priest as instructed.

“Did you gut the pillow with the knife?” he says.

“Yes, Father.”

“And what was the result?”

“Feathers.”

“Feathers?” he repeated.

“Feathers everywhere, Father!”

“Now I want you to go back and gather up every last feather that flew out on the wind!”

“Well,” she says, “it can’t be done. The wind took them all over.”

“And that,” said Father O’Rourke, “is gossip!”

Our words spread farther and faster than we know. As James has taught us, our words cause greater damage than we realize (James 3:1-12). Solomon said, “A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends” (Proverbs 16:28). Our tongues hold the power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21). So when you’re tempted to speak about something or someone in your circle, pause and ask, “If these words spread far and wide, will they build up or tear down; kill or give life?” Then move forward with love and caution.