I feel scared, a lot. As a teacher, I have begun many semesters thinking, “What am I getting myself into? What if I fail?” I have driven to many meetings feeling like an ulcer was forming in my stomach because I knew the conversation was going to be hard and the person might hate me afterward. Many times, I have sat sweating and nauseous in the front row as the last song played before I ascended the pulpit to preach. As a husband and father, sometimes I lie awake in bed many hours into the night dreading the thought, “Am I helping or hurting my girls?” It’s brutal. It sucks. But though terrified and often trembling, I continue to push through these responsibilities and work with all my might to do these good, scary things.

I used to be ashamed of myself for this struggle. I’ve labored under the assumption that, if I was doing things right, I wouldn’t have such a hint of such discomfort, but I’d sail from one day to the next in sunshine and peaceful waters. Now that I’ve surfaced the assumption, I recognize it can’t possibly be true. Mighty (and mostly faithful) King David openly admitted, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you” (Psalm 56:3). The Apostle Paul confessed he came “in weakness and in fear and in much trembling” (1 Corinthians 2:3). Even Jesus experienced profound anguish. In the Garden of Gethsemane, facing the cup of suffering before him, he was “deeply distressed” and troubled in soul (Mark 14:33). The presence of fear itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Jesus experienced fear, yet he prayed, “Not my will, but yours be done” (Mark 14:36). The bad thing isn’t being afraid. The bad thing is when we allow our fear to keep us from doing good, from trusting and obeying God in the moments it matters. Fear isn’t the problem. Being ruled by fear is.

Instead of being bullied and cowed by fear, be courageous. Courage is the skill of doing the good thing even though it scares the bejesus out of you. If a bear is charging you, be afraid and run. That’s good and wise. It’s fear working as it should. But if fear is tempting you to run from the needed conversation, the necessary confession, the good work, the crucial forgiveness, or the fruitful opportunity, then stay the course and do the scary, good thing.

As you do, be encouraged to know that though courage is necessary now, it won’t always be. One day we will see this life for what it is, the work of God’s hands, and we will finally understand that in all the days that required courage of us there was nothing to be afraid of. There never had been. There never again will be.

In the meantime, your life has been and will be scary. Courage, dear heart. Plow onward toward that good and faithful thing and trust God is not asleep.