Graduation is coming. You’re growing up. And while diplomas and tassels are cool, they’re nothing compared to the kind of person you are and, more importantly, the person you’re becoming. High school may be ending, but the stakes are rising. The decisions you make in the next few years will shape who you are for decades. So, from someone a bit further down the road, here are some lessons that have helped me along the way. I hope they serve you just as well.

Worship Through School

If you see school as a means to get good grades, get into a good college, land a good career, and earn a goodly paycheck, you’ve become an idolater. You’ve turned education into a mechanism to serve the empty and cruel god who goes by many names—money, reputation, power, pleasure—but whose real name is “Self.”

Beloved, you were not made to bear an image of your own making but to reflect the glorious Image of the One who made you. School is not about propping up a janky, self-serving vision for your life. It’s a gift from God meant to form you—to help you think more wisely, feel more deeply, and live more humanly. To be like Him.

School is too long, too hard, and too important to have it end only in a GPA, an acceptance letter, or a paycheck. God is too good to waste those years and tears on something so small. Like Paul says, “Whether you eat or drink (or attend class or do homework), do all to the glory of God” (1 Cor. 10:31).

Doing school like a pagan will reap a stunted life at best. Studying like a Christian will have you better enjoying God, imitating Him, and loving others like he does; all of this abounding in joy. For your own happiness and God’s sake, be a Christian at church and at school. Worship through songs and study.

Don’t Go to College If You Don’t Have a Plan

Who starts a road trip without a destination? Why jump on a road when you’ve no idea where it leads? College is excellent preparation for something. If you don’t know what that “something” is, figure it out first.

Instead of wasting time and money for the appearance of progress (and acquiring a mountain of debt), make actual progress. Get a job. Learn what you enjoy and what you detest. Gain valuable experience, grow your understanding of yourself, and figure out what certain jobs are actually like, not just what you imagine.

Could you figure all that out in college? Sure, but at a far greater cost in time, money, and missed experience. Woe to the student who earns a degree only to land a job they hate and switch to a career they could’ve started years earlier.

Especially if you want to be a mom, go into a trade, or start a business, consider a different road than college and work toward those worthy vocations. The student with an aim hits the target faster, better, and cheaper than the aimless freshman.

Choose the Hard Thing

Comfort is poison. The best things in life are hard won. If you chase the easy life, you’ll end up with a hard one. But if you pursue the hard life, you’ll find lasting joy.

Do the hard thing. Don’t run from the fire, run to it. When trials come, see them as training from God, meant to grow you, train you, toughen you, and make you stronger like Jesus (James 1:2–4). Though hard seasons seem like hindrances, they’re designed to help. Embracing hard things grows your gratitude, builds resilience, and shapes you into someone who may get knocked down but never knocked out.

Comfort is a great byproduct, but a terrible pursuit. Get comfortable with discomfort. Put your hand to the plow.

You’re Not an Animal, So Don’t Act Like One

As you graduate, you’ll be invited—and expected—to indulge in your base urges and chase empty pleasures. Drunkenness, fornication, debauchery. Like animals, many of your peers will live to satisfy their urges and think little of their character.

But you’re not an animal. And you won’t be happy if you live like one.

You have a mind; grow it. A soul; feed it. A moral character; chisel virtue into it. You have responsibilities; fulfill them.

Birds aren’t happy pretending to be fish. Worms are miserable acting like lions. Humans will only be happy when they live like humans—made in the image of God.

Learn the Bible Like Your Life Depends on It—Because It Does

You were made by God and for God. You won’t understand life without learning about it from him in his Word. Thankfully, he isn’t silent. God has spoken clearly and lovingly and at great length. His book is big because his love is big.

Commit to the Book. Read it widely. Study it deeply. Listen to your pastors teach it and your church sing it. Memorize it. Meditate on it. Think, feel, and act according to it. Trust it. Obey it. “The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul” (Psalm 19:7). “Blessed is the one who delights in the law of the Lord and meditates on it day and night” (Psalm 1:2). If you run in the dark, expect broken toes. So turn on the light.

Choose Your Teachers Carefully

Marcus Aurelius once praised his grandfather for keeping him from public schools and providing him with excellent teachers, saying, “On such things a man should spend liberally.”

The people who shape your mind and heart matter. Choose your teachers wisely. Be picky. Don’t ask, “Are they entertaining, popular, or politically correct?” Ask, “Are they good? Are they true? Are they wise?”

Whether at home, in your books, in your feed, or in your ears: choose carefully. You will be discipled. You just get to choose by whom.

Choose Your Friends Carefully

You will become who your closest friends are. “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm” (Proverbs 13:20).

J.C. Ryle once wrote:

“Be very careful in your choice of friends. Do not open your heart to someone just because they are clever, kind, or agreeable. These are good things—but not enough. Never be satisfied with a friend who will not be useful to your soul.”

Since iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:14), learn to ask: What kind of friend am I? A sponge who never challenges? A sword who wounds more than helps? Or a stone—someone who sharpens others? What kind of friends will I choose?

Faithful friends are sharpeners. Choose them. Be one.

Join a Local Church and Call Them Family

If you’re in Christ, you’ve been adopted into a family. Don’t live like an orphan. Belong to a local church. Get spiritual moms to nurture you, spiritual fathers to lead you, and spiritual siblings to support you and serve. Don’t sever yourself from Christ’s body. Get connected.

Yes, do Bible studies and devotionals. But don’t skip the regular, messy, embodied, beautiful life of the local church. Don’t just attend—belong. Serve and be served. Know and be known. Love and be loved just like Christ commands you.

Wolves don’t mess with buffalo that stick with the herd. But the lone one? Lunch.

Membership in Christ’s body isn’t just spiritual—it’s practical and necessary to enjoy the full life Christ offers. Even during college. The church is God’s family. So find one and live like family.

Control Your Emotions

Emotions can tell you what’s going on inside you—but they don’t always tell the truth about the world around you.

Train your emotions to follow truth, not lead it. Stop saying, “I feel,” when you mean, “I think.” Learn to control your emotions instead of letting them control you.

Emotions are wonderful passengers, but terrible drivers.

Your Life Will Be Shaped by What You Do—Not by What Happens to You

You can’t control your circumstances. But you are always responsible for how you respond.

Some people with great circumstances turn out miserable. Some with hard lives turn out joyful. What’s the difference? Character. Response. Trusting God controls everything you don’t and focusing only on the things you do.

Chuck Swindoll put it well: “Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.”

Don’t focus on what’s out of your control. I am sorry to promise you that bad things will happen and bad times will come. You can’t control them, but you always can control how you think about and respond to them. Focus on what’s in your hands. Do the next right thing. Live faithfully. God’s got the rest.

See Dating as a Road, Not a Destination

Dating is not the goal. Marriage is. Dating is the road that helps you determine whether marriage with this person is possible and wise. Dating is a clarity seeking mission aimed for a joyful marriage. Don’t confuse the two.

So date with purpose. Seek clarity, not just companionship. Don’t date to feel warm and fuzzy or to avoid being alone. Date to discern the answer to this question, “Am I willing to give my whole life to create a family with this person?”

Date in a way that makes sense if you marry—and doesn’t leave a trail of regret if you don’t.

Don’t Be Careless About Debt

“The borrower is slave to the lender” (Proverbs 22:7). Debt steals your freedom to give, grow, and serve others.

Before taking on debt, ask: Why do I want this? Is it worth it? Is it necessary? Will I be able to pay it off in the foreseeable future? Those questions count for colleges, cars, and credit cards.

If the answer is unclear, pause. Wait. Seek counsel. Don’t let pride or pressure push you into a burden you don’t need to carry. Not all debt is bad and it can be taken on wisely, but count the cost.

Wisdom waits. Foolishness rushes in.

Start Investing in the Market Now

Time is your greatest financial ally. Proverbs 13:11 says, “Whoever gathers money little by little makes it grow.” Mark my words: you and your family will be far happier if you spend your younger years investing for future needs rather than carelessly spending on present trivialities.

Start small, but start now. Even $50 a month in a basic index fund can yield surprising returns over time. For example, if you invest just $100 a month starting at age 18, earning an average 8% return, you’ll have over $18,000 by age 28 (after only putting in $12,000 of your own money). Imagine what happens if you invested more over time and keep going. You don’t need to get rich quick. You just need to start.

While your peers spend it all, build habits that lead to freedom so you can better give, serve, and build for the long haul.

Remember Always: God Is Better Than His Stuff

The great lie is that creation is better than the Creator. That pleasure, wealth, status, or success will satisfy you. But they won’t. Jim Carrey once said, “I think everybody should get rich and famous… so they can see that it’s not the answer.” He’s right. Now contrast that with King David: “In your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11). God is, indeed, much better than his stuff.

Don’t settle for lesser things. Enjoy creation, but worship the Creator. Your heart was made for Him. It won’t rest until it rests in him.

Dear one, you’re growing up. So am I. I’m no fountain of perfect wisdom, but these are truths that have guided me. May they guide you too, as you walk into adulthood with courage, clarity, and Christ at the center.

You’ve got one life. Make it count.