Following Jesus involves a lot of intentional learning and a lot of intentional unlearning. Believers need their thoughts, feelings, and actions continually renewed by the life-giving truth of God’s Word and freed from the soul-destroying untruths of the world that still linger within us. Like any garden, the believer’s soul needs plenty of planting, watering, and weeding if it is to flourish.

For the growing work, learning about the nature of sanctification and developing habits of grace are essential. It’s hard to be nourished by a work you don’t know about or to use tools you’re unaware of. However, my aim in this piece is to answer a different question: What are the forces working against our sanctification that may be hindering or derailing our maturation, growth, or increasing joy in Christ? Said another way, what are Satan’s tools to disciple us away from Jesus?

I wrote this initially to be a list, but the first tool in Satan’s hand was so significant, I chose to focus on it alone and leave the others for later. From my experience of life and ministry in 2026, I think this is one of the most significant tools Satan uses to slow or stop our growth in Christ.

Hell’s Cheerleaders

Aristotle famously noted that friendships generally fall into three categories. First, there are friends of pleasure whom we like because they’re always a hoot. Second, there are friends of utility whom we value because of how they help us with things we can’t do well without them. Third, there are friends of virtue whom we love because of who they are. We don’t love them merely because they make us laugh or lighten our load, but because their character is trustworthy, their love is steadfast, and their wisdom is sound. These friends are the best because they’ll love us toward all things true, good, and beautiful.

We’ve a knack for choosing the first two kinds of friends. It makes sense why. We love to laugh and be helped. There’s nothing wrong with those things per se. But pleasing or helpful friends aren’t necessarily friends who will help us become the people we ought to be. Those aren’t bad friends, they’re just not good enough. They’ll help our circumstances, but not our souls.

Unfortunately, we don’t only gravitate toward the first two kinds of friends, but we tend to avoid the third kind because they’ll love you more than you want them to. If you’re acting a fool, making poor decisions, or desiring stupid things, these kinds of friends will tell you. If your boyfriend isn’t good for you, they’ll let you know. When you’re acting on feelings instead of facts, they’ll challenge you. To their credit, if you hurt them they won’t talk to others about it, but, to your grave discomfort, they will talk to you about it. These folks will love you enough to get in your face when you’re being an idiot. And, though it is good, it won’t feel good. If you’re dedicated to always being affirmed, you’ll avoid these kinds of friends like the plague. But avoiding them is choosing a plague that will harm you far more than the momentary discomfort you’re trying to escape.

To see why such friends may be worth the cost of occasional discomfort, consider for a moment how many of life’s greatest regrets trace back to choices we wish we had made differently. How nice would it have been to have someone who loved you enough to tell you at those moments, “You’re being an idiot. Don’t do this.” Would it have hurt? No doubt. Would it feel great? Not at all. But would it have been a blessing you later thanked them for? Absolutely.

If it would have been good to have those friends then, wouldn’t you want to have them now?

The Unlove of Unconditional Affirmation

Contrary to the world’s preaching, true love is not ceaseless affirmation, but a devotion to all things true, good, and beautiful and a commitment to always love you toward those ends, especially in the times when you’re tempted to take a detour.

I hope you remember this: Satan wants you to have lots of friends, but only a certain kind: unconditional cheerleaders who confuse loving you with affirming everything you do. He wants you surrounded by people who will cheer you on, especially in the moments when you’re sprinting toward a cliff’s edge. At any given time, Satan is happy to make sure you have an ample supply of Hellish Cheerleaders who will affirm, applaud, support, and validate your dumbest ideas, worst desires, and most destructive decisions.

The problem isn’t unconditional love. The problem is unconditional affirmation. True friends can love you regardless of what you do while still refusing to affirm everything you do. In fact, loving someone means refusing to affirm what is destroying them. Sometimes loving someone means telling them the thing they desperately don’t want to hear.

If you’d rather not live that kind of life, then what should you do? I think it’s fairly simple: make a decision today to pursue, collect, and keep close the third kind of friend: people whose character is admirable, whose choices are wise, and whose commitment to Jesus and to all things true, good, and beautiful is greater than their commitment to your comfort.

Not unconditional cheerleaders, but trustworthy companions.

Jesus is the kind of friend who forgives the sins you’ve committed. These are the kind of friends who will help you avoid the ones you haven’t yet.