What If I Have Failed Sexually?

shame-on-youOften times, as Christians look forward to marriage, they ask, “What if I have failed sexually?” There have been lots of bad answers to that question. Some say, “Don’t worry about it! No shame! It’s not a big deal.” Others answer to the contrary, “That is terrible! You are shameful and will never enjoy marriage as God desires.”

Which answer is right? Neither. One diminishes the seriousness of sexual sin while the other completely ignores the power and glory of the sin-cleansing gospel.

In our quest for the answer, I think Richard Phillips gives us what we are looking for.

Here is the dark side, I think, of the chastity industry: it creates the sense that anyone who has failed sexually is broken and unclean.  But this is a repudiation of the gospel.  Would it be better if he or she had waited until marriage for sex?  Of course it would, and we should not downplay the value of sexual purity for singles and youths.  But we do believe in forgiveness, redemption, and restoration. Don’t we? It is one thing if the person is still practicing sexual sin and folly.  But if the person is genuinely repentant and committed to honor the Lord with his or her body, then we rejoice in the redeeming grace of our Savior.

Sexual sin is serious, but the power of Christ’s blood is far stronger. He has come not only to forgive, but to cleanse the deepest stains of our souls. He has come to make us new. May we take sin seriously so we may run to and rejoice in the sin-cleansing gospel all the more.

Read the article from which this quote came here.

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The Saturday Post(s)

Saturday PostIs Theology Your Idolatry? Nine very good questions to help you see if you love what you learned about God more than God Himself.

The Complicated Life of Lazy Boys. This is really thoughtful and helpful. “There are (at least) five vicious cycles that perpetuate male inactivity. Each highlights a different logic behind our tendency toward laziness and complacency.”

Is the Church Failing Gay Christians? A recent radio program where some professing Christians, some of whom struggle with same-sex attraction themselves, “discuss how churches should treat those in their congregation who are LGBT.”

Sing Your Heart Out. “Many years ago, I had an employer who was intent on trying to provoke me with a variety of sacrilegious jokes and statements. Having just come back from visiting her parents over one Easter weekend, she told me how she had visited their church that Easter Sunday. What she said next left an indelible mark on my thinking about congregational singing for many years. She said, “What I don’t get is why you people don’t sing like you believe what you are singing?”

LifeWay Pulls Heavenly Tourism Books Off Shelves. I am very happy about this. I am sad it took so long. “LifeWay Christian Resources has stopped selling all ‘experiential testimonies about heaven’ following consideration of a 2014 Southern Baptist Convention resolution on ‘the sufficiency of Scripture regarding the afterlife.'”

Dating a Non-Virgin. “What should I do if I’m dating someone who didn’t wait for marriage before meeting me?”

Get to Know Yourself. Excellent stuff. “The Bible is an inestimable treasure because of what it teaches me about God, but it is equally valuable for what it teaches me about me. It does not reveal only the truth about deity, but also about humanity.”

Raising Kids in a Hyper-Sexualized World. If you are a parent, I don’t know how you wouldn’t want to read this: “As a father, how do you shepherd your children in our hyper-sexualized culture?”

7 Lessons Learned from 30+ of Pastoral Ministry. The wisdom here goes beyond pastoral ministry and is helpful for anyone with breath in their lungs.

Tattoos for the Soul. Joe Thorn gives some good words on the good of confessions. If you aren’t familiar with confessions or if you are adverse to them, this will be particularly helpful for you. “Proper confessions of faith, like Westminster, or the 1689 Baptist Confession, serve four purposes…”

We Complain Because We Forget. “The antidote to spiritual amnesia is making every effort to recall and remember God’s gracious deliverance. The fact that you — a sinner who was an enemy of God — are now a beloved child is a miracle. Don’t let that wonder ever fade. Remember.”

Deviled Eggs Hatchlings. A fun idea for Easter. And the lady seems a little insane.

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Disagreement Is Not Disloyalty

In reflecting on seven lessons learned from over thirty years of pastoral ministry, Mark Altrogge makes a point that applies for us all: disagreement is not disloyalty.

Sadly, strong leaders can sometimes interpret disagreement as disloyalty. But we shouldn’t be offended when others question or challenge us. In fact, healthy disagreement is often a sign of mutual respect and care. Husbands, if your wife disagrees with you, that doesn’t mean she’s not supportive. It likely means she’s helping you see what you’ve missed. Pastors, you don’t always have to be right. A fellow pastor recently pointed out some weaknesses in my life, not to criticize or undermine me, but because he genuinely cares and wants to help me grow.

How do you respond when someone disagrees with you? Do you treat disagreement as disloyalty or as an invitation to sharper thinking and deeper humility? Do you scold those who challenge you or thank them for giving you a second chance to see if you’re missing something? Instead of shutting down conflict, might wisdom call you to lean into it, whispering in your ear, “Listen closely, they might be right”? Thinking this way won’t always resolve the disagreement nor does it mean they’re view is always right. You may still walk away unconvinced, but don’t you think that everything will be better off for not confusing their disagree as disloyalty?

Many of us carry a strange, unspoken belief: our friends will always agree with us, and our enemies will always disagree. But the truth is often the opposite. Our real enemies are the ones who don’t love us enough to speak hard, uncomfortable truth when we’re acting foolishly. They care more about their own comfort than our good, so they smile, affirm, and cheer on our stupidity.

True friends, however, love us more than they love their comfort. When needed, they’re willing to confront us, even if it hurts, because they see we’re heading for a cliff. Solomon said it best: “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy” (Proverbs 27:6).

Disagreement, far from being a sign of disloyalty, can be one of the clearest expressions of genuine love.

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The Pagan & the Temple

First TempleJohn Phillips’ tells a good story about a pagan and the Temple.

Try to not be warmed and led to thankfulness for Jesus.

Imagine with me a Moabite of old gazing down upon the Tabernacle of Israel from some lofty hillside. This Moabite is attracted to what he sees so he descends the hill and makes his way toward the Tabernacle.

He walks around this high wall of dazzling linen until he comes to a gate and at the gate, he sees a man. “May I go in there?” he asks, pointing to the gate where all the bustle of activity in the Tabernacle’s outer court can be seen.

“Who are You?” demands the man suspiciously.

“I’m from Moab,” the stranger replies.

“Well, I’m very sorry, but you can’t go in there. You see, it’s not for you. The Law of Moses has barred the Moabite from any part in the worship of Israel until his tenth generation.”

The Moabite looks so sad and said, “Well, what would I have to do to go in there?”

“You would have to be born again,” the gatekeeper replies. “You would have to be born an Israelite, of the tribe of Judah, or of the tribe of Benjamin or Dan.”

“Oh, I wish I had been born an Israelite,” the Moabite says and as he looks again, he sees one of the priests, having offered a sacrifice at the brazen altar and the priest cleansed himself at the brazen laver and then the Moabite sees the priest enter the Tabernacle’s interior. “What’s in there?” asks the Moabite. “Inside the main building, I mean.”

“Oh,” the gatekeeper says, “That’s the Tabernacle itself. Inside it contains a lampstand, a table, and an altar of gold. The man you saw was a priest. He will trim the lamp, eat of the bread upon the table and burn incense to the living god upon the golden altar.”

“Ah,” sighs the Moabite, “I wish I were an Israelite so that I could do that. I would so love to worship God in there and help to trim the lamp and offer Him incense and eat bread at that table.”

“Oh, no, the gatekeeper hastens to say, “even I could not do that. To worship in the holy place one must not only be born an Israelite, one must be born of the tribe of Levi and of the family of Aaron.”

The man from Moab sighs again, “I wish that I had been born of Israel of the tribe of Levi of the family of Aaron,” and then, as he gazes wistfully at the closed Tabernacle door, he says, “What else is in there?”

“Oh, there’s a veil. It’s a beautiful veil I’m told and it divides the Tabernacle in two. Beyond the veil is what we call ‘the Most Holy Place’… ‘the Holy of Holies.’”

“What’s in the Holy of Holies?” the Moabite asks.

“Well, there’s the sacred chest in there and it’s called the Ark of the Covenant. It contains holy memorials of our past. Its top is gold and we call that the mercy seat because God sits there between the golden cherubim. Do you see that pillar of cloud hovering over the Tabernacle? That’s the Shekinah glory cloud. It rests on the mercy,” said the gatekeeper.

Again, a look of longing comes over the face of the Moabite man. “Oh,” he said, “if only I were a priest! How I would love to go into the Holy of Holies and gaze upon the glory of God and worship Him there in the beauty of His holiness!’

“Oh no!” said the man at the gate. “You couldn’t do that even if you were a priest! Only the high priest can enter the Most Holy Place. Only he can go in there. Nobody else!”

The heart of the man from Moab yearns once more. “Oh,” he cried, “If only I had been born an Israelite, of the tribe of Levi, of the family of Aaron. If only I had been born a high priest! I would go in there every day! I would go in there three times a day! I would worship continually in the Holy of Holies!”

The gatekeeper looked at the man from Moab again and once more shook his head. “Oh now,” he said, “you couldn’t do that! Even the high priest of Israel can go in there only once a year, and then only after the most elaborate preparations and even then only for a little while.”

Sadly, the Moabite turned away. He had no hope in all the world of ever entering there!

. . . Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith (Hebrews 10:19-22).

Here it is, a tremendous word of welcome, extended to Jew and Gentile alike, to come on in and worship, not in the holiest place of the human tabernacle, but into the Holy of Holies in heaven itself “by the blood of Jesus.”

Jesus is the way into the house of God (John 14:6). With Him, we no longer stand outside, but are warmly called in.

HT: Jared Wilson

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Polygamy, Saddam Hussein, Abortion, & Worship

8567726954e0f8d04acad7c93c6adce6Tomorrow, I will be teaching the middle schoolers at our church about the imprecatory psalms. In my study, I came across this amazing section about how Christian should respond to the destruction of evil and evil doers in our day. His words are absolutely worth a slow, careful, and reflective read.

Daniel Nehrbass:

When the polygamist compound in Texas was exposed on the media the nation responded with a variety of reactions, including curiosity and disgust. A mature response would be worship. Worship because the exposure proved that God would not allow His Name to be maligned by those who pervert His design.

Similarly, when Saddam Hussein was hanged the media reported reactions o relief aand vindication. A mature response, however, would be worship. Worship because God brings justice to the guilt and sets the oppressed free.

Our response to these events is a test of maturity. God does not provide for the fall of an enemy for your sake. Not for your amusement. Not for your prosperity. And not for your relief. He does it for the sake of His Name…

Similarly, I pray for the end of legalized abortion in our country. I believe I will live to see that day. I am confident because, “Surely there is a God who judges the earth.” I am confident  because this Judge is active, and He is not silent. His enemies will be avenged. But as I pray for that day, I reflect on what my future response will be. What will your response be? For some it will be a fleshly, self-centered satisfaction: “I knew I was right all along.” Some will praise their own efforts, and the efforts of others who helped the cause. Some pray for the end of abortion because the practice outrages them. Others consider the golden rule, and recognize that babies are not treated the way any of us would want to be treated. While I agree with these thoughts, they are earth-centered. They are thoughts of low ambition. The psalmist said the righteous are glad when the wicked are avenged because God’s reputation is upheld: “Surely there is a God who judges the earth.” (Taken from Praying Curses, p. 177-178).

Worship the God Who, “will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil” (Ecclesiastes 12:14). Every evil, answered. Evil victim, vindicated. Every tear, wiped away. All to the glory of His Name. What a good God. What a righteous God.

 

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The Saturday Post(s)

Saturday Post

Truth & Compassion in Action. “Gay activists prepared to protest FIRE Church in Concord, North Carolina. Their event leader posted their plan on Facebook…We are going to STAND TOGETHER AS A COMMUNITY to show that our love is stronger than their hate…” When the (gay activist) protestors arrived, they were warmly greeted by church leaders who offered them water and snacks, shared the truth with them, and invited them to join the service. Within a short time, the protestors dispersed, explaining the church members were too kind and loving to protest….”

You Never Marry the Right Person. “In generations past, there was far less talk about “compatibility” and finding the ideal soul-mate. Today we are looking for someone who accepts us as we are and fulfills our desires, and this creates an unrealistic set of expectations that frustrates both the searchers and the searched for.”

A Good Mentor Slows You Down. I resonated with and appreciated this greatly.

Come & Die. “Have you ever seen a military recruitment poster or TV ad that showed wounded soldiers? Ever seen one that showed soldiers taking bullets, medics administering morphine to blood-gushing comrades, or an array of battle-hardened quadriplegics? No, you have not…” But Jesus has a different way to obtain recruits.

Ten Effects of Romans 9. These are so, so good. Number four is worth thinking on: “Romans 9 helps to keep me amazed at my own salvation. John Newton was really amazed that he was saved. We get amazed by a lot of things. We need to ask ourselves periodically if we are amazed that we are saved. Are we blown away that we are included in the eternal family of the living God, especially in view of all our remaining sin.”

Who Represent True Islam? A thoughtful article with some strong points. “Maher blames Islam proper for the thousands of murders in the past few years. Is he fair to do so?  Is cruelty and terror a latent feature of the religion itself? Howard Dean disagrees completely. He asserts that none of the terrorist organizations or individuals are actually Muslim. He says we shouldn’t even use that word to describe them.” Who is right?

Older Men, Younger Men Need You. “As a younger man myself, I have tried to identify how exactly older guys can love, exhort, and invest in younger men around them — men like me. On behalf of other younger men, with humility and boldness, we plead with our older brothers for five things.”

What Not to Ask When Someone is Suffering. Filled with wisdom on both what not to say and what to say. “The minute I said it I wished I hadn’t. I should know better. But it’s just what came out. Maybe it’s what comes out when you talk to grieving people too. Here’s what I said. Or more accurately, what I asked…”

R.C. Sproul’s Childhood Struggle With Happines & Pleasure. A great story, a great struggle, a great point: “May our holy God give us the faith and fuel to pursue holiness with all our might, to love God with all our heart, and so discover joy’s juices flowing through our veins again.”

Baptizing Babies? Kevin DeYoung recently wrote about why he baptizes babies and Sam Storms responded with a piece about why he only baptizes believers. They both are good reads to get a basic grasp on the differences on the two camps.

The Focus of Pastoral Ministry. As you read this ask, “Do my pastors think or practice this?”

iPod Preachers & the Local Church. “A few years ago my iPod was filled with sermons from the usual gospelly suspects, and I listened to them fairly regularly. But I realized something wasn’t quite right. I was even more critical than usual. I was subconsciously grading my pastor’s sermons. My enjoyment of worshipping at church diminished. So I quit listening to sermons from famous guys.”

You Are a Child of God Forever if You Say This. “When a man once says that, in his heart and not merely with his lips, then no matter what his guilt may be, no matter how far he is beyond any human pale, not matter how little opportunity he has for making good the evil that he has done, he is a ransomed soul, a child of God forever.”

How to Read the Bible for Yourself. This is amazing and amazingly short.

Your Mom Needs Theology. “Moms, theology isn’t just for pastors, teachers, and professors; it’s for you too. And it’s not for another stage of life. It’s vital for you right here, right now, in the trenches of your daily life as a mom.”

A Dog Eats a Lemon. It doesn’t get more internet-humor than this. Still good for a LOL.

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Is Making Out a Sin?

rijKR86bTOne note for my readers, if you have strong emotional reaction to the following, make sure to read the linked essay. Don’t let your emotional reaction determine what you deem to be true.

In the work of youth pastoring, questions about sex, dating, and relationships come up often and I am glad for it. It is my joy and privilege to help my students walk through the tumultuous waters called relationships. Some of the common questions I’ll get are…

When and how should I date?

What does the Bible say about sex?

What should pre-marital relationships look like?

What should I do if I find a boy/girl attractive?

What should I look for in a spouse?

Among the many good questions that are asked, I know there is one question that is rarely asked, but, I bet, is frequently thought about. What question is that?

Is making out a sin?

Should non-married Christians partake in kissing of the French persuasion? Is it OK for them to play a few rounds of tonsil-hockey? Is Jesus pleased when His redeemed partake in the tongue tango?

Now, in today’s sexualized culture, this question is laughable to many. Making out, by today’s insane sexual standard, is akin to holding hands or even hugging for that extra second. However, as Christians, we are called to not conform to the world, but be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:1-2). We must be in the world, but not of the world; being sanctified by truth, not seduced by lies (John 17:14-19). So what does the renewed mind think about making out?

A Serious Answer

Not wanting to disappoint, but I will not be teasing out the specifics here. However, I do want to offer you one answer I think all Christians need to think long and hard about. It is offered in an essay by a pastor named Gerald Hiestand. His thesis is:

[F]idelity to the trajectory and ethic of Scripture necessitates reserving any and all sexual activity for the marriage relationship. Or to state it again, the New Testament conveys—both theologically and exegetically—that all premarital relationships are to be completely non-sexual. Or one more time: premarital “making out” is a sin. (p. 14).

In the essay, he argues as follows:

1) All sexual activity must be reserved for the marriage relationship.

2) Some forms of kissing are sexual. Therefore,

3) Sexual forms of kissing must be reserved for the marriage relationship. (p. 19)

Again, I am not wanting you to just agree and move on, but I want to challenge you, my beloved reader, to think deeply about the topic of sexual purity in a sexually impure world. If you are unmarried, this has direct affect on how you date. If you are married, this will affect the counsel you offer others in dating. This affects how we instruct our children and the church’s youth. We need to think long and hard; making sure our answers are God’s answers.

I believe that the church has purchased far too much from the world when it comes to sex, dating, and relationships. It is about time we grab our receipts and return our purchases.

Read the whole essay here. Make sure to check out his book here.

HT: Andy Naselli

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The Saturday Post(s)

Saturday Post

God Doesn’t Want Matt Chandler (Or Any Other Celebrity Preacher/Pastor) to Be Your Pastor. Without demeaning the blessing of gifted pastors/preachers, Stephen Altrogge reminds us that, ” God doesn’t want Matt Chandler to be your pastor (unless you happen to be in his church). God has placed your pastor in your church to care specifically for you. When your pastor is preparing his sermon, he’s preparing it for you, and God is specifically empowering him to prepare a sermon for you.”

Dear Rob Bell… Rob Bell recently said the church is “moments away” from affirming gay marriage. Owen Strachan responds: “Rob, you’re a gifted communicator. You drew many folks to your church in Michigan, and now you have a show on Oprah’s network. It’s clear that you’re charismatic, funny, and adept at making complex realities simple to understand. But—excuse my own attempt at brevity—you’re dead wrong on the church and gay marriage.”

4 Traits of Legalism. A good list for self-reflection.

The Birthcontrol Pill is Potentially Abortifacient. Should Pro-life advocates use the Pill? In answering that question, Denny Burk offers some needed food for thought. “One of the most commonly used methods of contraception—one that is routinely used by many pro-life evangelicals—is at least potentially abortifacient.”

The Bible & Barren Women. A good word to the infertile sisters among us. “In all of your pain and sorrow you desperately want God to hear your prayer and comfort you in this dark season. Baby showers, baby dedications, and even a stroll through Target can be a stark reminder that there is a deep longing in your soul for a baby you long to hold, either in heaven or yet to be formed. And when you cry out to the Lord it seems like he isn’t there either. I assure you, He is. Behind the dark clouds and frowning providence of this season is a God who cares about every detail of your grief.”

Why Can’t the Church Agree to Disagree on Homosexuality? “We cannot count same-sex behavior as an indifferent mat­ter. Of course, homosexuality isn’t the only sin in the world, nor is it the most critical one to address in many church con­texts. But if 1 Corinthians 6 is right, it’s not an overstatement to say that approving same-sex sexual behavior—like sup­porting any form of sexual immorality—runs the risk of leading people to hell.”

Does Your Schedule Know You’re a Christian Dad? Our kids,  “quickly discern what we love and what we want them to love based on how we live out our schedules. Children can benefit greatly from hearing Sunday School lessons and sermons from teachers and preachers who love the gospel. But they are also watching to see if you love the gospel and if you want them to love it.”

5 Things You Can’t Blame the Church For. “Doubtless people have been hurt in the church and hurt by the church, and for that I feel terrible. But it’s one thing to have a bad experience or a series of bad experiences. It’s another to hang on to them for far longer than you should, especially when you have a role in them that you refuse to see.”

Recapping the Inerrancy Summit. A great review on what seemed to be an immensely important conference. Sermon summaries, videos, and audios are all linked here.

5 Reasons Your Marriage Matters. ” I just have a simple point to make: your marriage matters. Matters to whom? Well…”

Rebellion LOLs. This is a hilarious compilation of pictures that  humorously (albeit unintentionally) apply the truth of Romans 5:20.

You Can’t Arrest the Gospel. “Christians are not a dour people, even in the darkness of a dungeon. We don’t whine and bellyache as our society lines up against us and our convictions. We plead. We grieve. But beneath it all we have untouchable strongholds of joy. Even in the worst, most inconvenient, most lonely days, we rejoice.”

What If You Saw This?. Terrifying

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Transgenderism in the Locker Room

nir152iNever underestimate the level of insanity Mankind is able to reach.

Denny Burk reports:

Yvette Cormier was in the dressing room at her exercise club “Planet Fitness” last month when she saw a man enter the women’s locker room. Cormier was unsettled about this, so she immediately informed management. After hearing her concerns, Planet Fitness explained that the man is transgender and identifies as a woman. They told her that Planet Fitness allows any man who sincerely self-identifies as a woman to make use of the women’s locker room.

This response did little to settle Cormier’s concerns, which she began to share with other members of the club. So Planet Fitness took decisive action. They kicked Cormier out of the club. They revoked her membership saying that she violated Planet Fitness’s “no-judgment zone” policy. (Read the whole post here.)

When you lose sight of the Creator, you will have no idea how to relate to creation.

One note, don’t let this post simply throw you into a rant of anger, shaking your head at the lunacy of our culture. But have it spur you on to know God’s Word and to be able to articulate it to our culture which so desperately needs it. Our world needs Christians who know what they believe, why they believe, and how to communicate it with courage and love.

 

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What Sermon Topics Excite You?

Sermon_Slide_Template-Images.001Kevin DeYoung has an excellent post (as usual) titled Nine Marks of an Unhealthy Church. The whole post is definitely worth your time, however, I thought his first mark of unhealth was particularly intriguing and insightful.

The more peripheral the sermon topic, the more excited the people become.

One of the things I’ve always loved about University Reformed Church (the church Kevin Pastors) is that the sermons they love most are the ones that deal with the most central themes of the Bible. They love to hear about sin and salvation, about the glory of God, about providence, about Christ and the cross. It’s not that they never hear (or dislike) sermons on the end times or social issues or financial stewardship or marriage or parenting, but they seem most passionate about the messages that major on guilt, grace, and gratitude. I’m concerned when a congregation gets tired of hearing about the Trinity, the atonement, the new birth, or the resurrection and wants to hear another long series on handling stress or the 70 weeks in Daniel.

So what sermon topics excite you? What sermon topics bore you? What does that say about the state of your soul or the maturity of your Christian faith? Do you yearn for the things God has emphatically revealed or do you simply want to be entertained or inspired? Do you desire your pastor to major on the majors or do you want him to spend his time on your little theological hobby horses?

What do your sermon preferences say about your soul’s health?

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